#i love that guy he's got this earnest energy

[kedsandtubesocks]

cosmic love

Marcus Acacius x F!Reader x Marcus Pike

summary: a missing statue, a handsome ancient roman general, an equally handsome museum visitor - and you caught in the magical (and wonderful) mess of it all

tags & warnings: 18+ ONLY MDNI, MAJOR GLADIATOR 2 SPOILERS. time travel AU, magic elements, pining & yearning, fluff but with touches of angst, implied age gap (Acacius being older than both reader & Marcus), light use of gendered language, bi!Marcus Acacius & bi!Marcus Pike, brief mention of death & existential questioning, spicy themes, smut (threesome, m!oral, one moment of spitting) M/M/F & M/M dynamics, polyamorous exploration that leads to eventual poly relationship, no use of y/n

word count: 7.5k

a/n: I’m sorry I blame the gladiator statue pics we got & yeah now here we are lmao, this fic literally wouldn’t be here without @pedgito & @perotovar - i can’t thank you two enough for all the help i love y’all tremendously, also a sweet special tag for @morallyinept ily too… And lastly - thank you for reading, you’re what makes this so special and magical ♡

The statue that arrived with the newly updated Roman exhibition at your museum has gained attention.

As a guide you enjoy seeing all the new faces here to check out the freshly opened installation. The heightened foot traffic has kept you and your co-workers busy, but it’s been a nice welcome.

Your eyes drift to the statue now.

General Marcus Acacius stands slightly weathered yet still commanding in his bronze glory, towering among the room with all the grace a powerful Roman Army commander would be.

You learned he conquered countless territories and countries in the name of the Ancient Roman Empire. Eventually though, he was caught in a conspiracy to overthrow the ruling emperors and died within the eyes of the coliseum, the whisper of a gladiator’s death.

Now you readily explain this all to tour groups like the one you currently guide.

“Oh, he’s cute.” One of the elementary school girls currently giggles to her friend. The other school children gasp around her, teasing her.

“It’s okay. He is pretty handsome, isn’t he?” You reassure her. The girl seems bashful but relieved at your agreement.

It wasn’t just you. A local internet influencer stopped by and even made a video about the statue being her dream guy.

Even as a statue, the General is eye-catching.

The bronze figure captured his likeness bewitchingly detailing the soft curls of his hair, a lovely sharp nose, mountainous strong broad shoulders, and a pensive stare looking out to a distant horizon. He’s a man of unwavering beauty.

You constantly want to smack yourself for being wistful over a piece of art.

“He’s definitely the most attractive statue I’ve seen.” A familiar smooth sweet voice melts into the room’s quiet softness making your heart jump.

Approaching you with a molten smile and eyes twinkling in the low museum lights, Marcus doesn’t seem real at times.

A regular visitor, you first met him when he accidentally crashed one of your tours. Wholesomely thoughtful, but also being a charming yet slightly know it all, he was quick to join in on commentary of the paintings. With his Disney prince-like smile and earnest eager energy, you couldn’t dare shoo him away.

Now you happily seek his company.

“He’s become like a hot new celebrity here.” Joking, you nudge towards the General’s striking figure.

“I can see why.” Marcus whistles low. “Like look at those shoulders.”

You snicker as a bubbling fondness swells in you.

“He unfortunately died a tragic death.” Marcus comments, cloudy and mournful.

“Yeah, I heard. That means this guy is a bad boy.” You nod.

Marcus snickers at your comment then playfully nudges you with his elbow.

Later, all your co-workers beg you to ask him out to coffee.

“He’s totally got the hots for you!” Your favorite co worker often tells you, but you wave her off.

Marcus is just sweet. He’s kind and considerate, engaging to all the workers here. Besides, you don’t want to assume he possibly likes you and maybe ruin the precious friendship you have with him.

However, your favorite coworker shows up a few days later with a solution for your stale love life.

With a cheeky bright grin, she hands you the cutest pink velvet pouch in the break room.

“It’s called a love wish tea.” She declares.

She grabbed a pack of them at the local occult shop after the lovely witch who owned the place swore it worked.

“It calls in your heart’s desires and hey, it worked for me! That’s why I still have a pack left over!” She proudly recommends.

You roll your eyes but appreciate the gift.

Shoving it into your bag, you don’t give it much thought.

Then the cooler cozier weather settles in, the perfect time for museum dates. Strolling along the floors keeping a watch on everyone it’s hard not to notice the intake of couples. Some are intertwined beside each other staring fondly at a painting together, while others happily take photos of the other being silly.

A taste of loneliness fills you, but gently you sweep it away focusing back on work. Especially since tonight you’ll be locking up.

Already craving some extra caffeine, you glare seeing the break room depleted of any sweet salvation.

The small velvet pink bag in your bag immediately comes to mind. And at this point you think, why not. it will at least keep you awake.

Immediately out of the pouch the tea bag releases a soothing smell, a rich floral blending with delicate touches of a fruit scent, possibly pomegranate. You’re now excited just to taste it, love wish or not.

The tea steeps in your tumbler cup allowing a faint rose color to float into your water. Of course the tea is pretty too.

And the taste? Rich, lovely and warm, like a romantic valentine-like themed drink. It doesn’t reward you with a sensation of being in love, but instead you feel at peace.

After a few sips, you return to the floor.

There, Marcus sits on one of the benches in the Roman exhibition.

Curled over a leather sketchbook, he’s every bit the personification of a scholarly beautiful artist straight out of a romance novel. His face glanced up then back down to his sketch. Diligent concentration paints over his gorgeous face.

Cautious, yet eager, you approach.

He’s sketching a portrait of the General. The sharp edges of the charcoal, the smudges meant to mimic shadows, along with capturing the striking slopes of the General’s features - it’s fantastic.

“You’re amazing!”

Your compliment causes him to jolt slightly spooked, and you rapidly apologize. Once he catches sight of you, Marcus sighs with a dreamy relieved sleepy grin.

“Just sketching, nothing too crazy.”

You take a seat besides him on the bench.

“You captured his likeness so well already.” You’re in awe at the sketch.

Marcus laughs a bit nervously. It’s hard trying not to swoon at the light rose blush coloring his cheeks. He’s stunning.

“I bet General Acacius would be flattered.” You grin then glance back to the statue.

Marcus turns to follow your sight.

“Nah, he strikes me as a big relief fan.” Marcus comments thoughtfully.

The bad art joke isn’t lost on you, and you snicker beside him. Among the giggles you catch Marcus staring at you, the softest boyish grin tugging his lips.

The world melts into a splendid focus all on him.

This isn’t good. You can’t be thinking about possibly leaning in to kiss cute visitors while you’re still on the clock.

“Hey… so I’ve been meaning to ask if maybe we could-”

His phone ringing cuts Marcus off causing you to shoot up from the bench. Jumping on the call, Marcus seems apologetic and almost sad as you wave him bye to him.

Closing time approaches. You and your co-workers do one final look around the rooms. Marcus is nowhere to be found.

The Roman exhibition now sits sleepily still.

The dim glow coats the general’s statue, a glistening chopper. Even with the chips and weathering of time, he stands glorious as you stroll closer.

He really must have been something fierce for the empire to immortalize him in such grand fashion.

“You must’ve been a pretty amazing man.” You mutter mainly to yourself, gently touching the base of the elevated display platform he rests upon.

You wish him a good night and head home. You try not to think of stunning statues or cute museum visitors.

Next morning you’re woken up by a call from work, a frantic one.

“The fucking hot ass statue is missing.” Your co-worker hisses.

You don’t believe it till you see it.

But you’re knocked breathless at the sight.

General Marcus Acacius is missing. The once grand presence he added to the room is absent, vanished, as if plucked from the air itself.

It’s almost unnerving to see the once elevated space now hauntingly vacant.

Chaos brews humming all around. Copes scurry around everywhere, and plenty of people stand outside curious to what’s going on. A controlled whirlwind fills your museum. Various officers keep the scene roped off.

The museum decides to close for the rest of the week to let the police handle as much as they can. You adore the museum truly, but there’s one spot you love the most. Right by the break room leading from various different doors is an outdoor courtyard. It’s become a place of solace.

The bubbling dread has you stepping out here one more time. The sky above looms with a cold front approaching and casts a somber shadow over the space even more.

The shrubs rustle off the side among the thick greenery, and you figure it’s a bird.

“It’s you.” Until a new voice speaks to you. Rich, heavily accented and smooth, it startles you.

You wonder if you’re imagining things.

The man is dressed in Roman attire, elaborate white armor adorned with ornate gold pieces. Glorious graying curls frame his ethereal aged face.

How did a cosplayer manage to sneak in?

He stares so directly at you it frightens you a bit.

“You’re the one who’s voice I heard…” he continues to speak. “It was like I was asleep, drifting away. Then you woke me.”

“Sir, how did you manage to get in here?” You ask, trying to stay as calm as you can.

“I do not know. I simply woke and found myself in this strange place.” He explains with a furrowed brow.

You wonder…is this a strange bit the museum is maybe trying to pull off, and they didn’t tell you.

He steps forward now, and instinctively you walk back cautious. The man must take in your reaction because his face, his handsome face that now looks vaguely familiar, frowns. He holds his hands up defensively.

“I mean no harm. I just need to know what happened to me.”

Someone calls out your name, sounds like your boss. “Come on let’s head out.”

The stranger repeats it and how smooth his voice is, your name rolls off his tongue.

“I am General Marcus Acacius, and I am in need of your assistance.”

That makes your brain scratch.

“Wait, what?” You turn to him confused. “What did you say your name was again?”

He repeats it firmer.

Marcus Acacius.

As in… General Marcus Acacius.

There’s no way.

“Oh, so you’re an actor.” You deadpan.

“I…am confused? I’m no performer. I promise you that.” He almost sounds huffy.

You gotta give him credit. The guy stays in character pretty well.

“You shouldn’t be here, actor or not.” You tell him, heading back inside. Of course this man follows you in.

At the sight of the glass door and the movement of it, he pauses stunned, like he can’t process it. You almost want to laugh.

“You’re pretty good, even though you say you’re not an actor.” You tease.

He frowns hard not enjoying that.

“Either tell me what is going on or I will find a man who will.” He snaps loud and your eyes go wide.

His memorizing face scrunches up in frustration. Dark amber eyes are coated in fierce anger.

“I wake up in a strange place filled with artifacts and see people dressed strange. What is going on?” His voice rises confused, panicking.

Either he’s the most amazing actor ever or…

No.

It can’t be.

Too many thoughts swirl in your head like angry bees trying to make your brain explode.

You need a minute. So you grab the mystery man’s arm, practically dragging him to follow you.

“Excuse you? Where are you taking me?” He demands.

“Somewhere safe.” You half lie.

Unfortunately your boss stops you. His worried eyes catch sight of the man in the armor. You’re quick to explain he’s an actor, upset about the missing statue.

“I am not a-”

You shush the strange man harshly. Your boss, hesitant and worried, surveys him.

“He shouldn’t be here.” Your boss says firm.

“Yup, and I was just showing him the way out.” You happily explain.

Thankfully your boss gets called away, and you make your escape.

“Are you abducting me?” He demands harder.

“Look, I’m the only one here who might be able to help you.” You hiss back.

“I am the commanding General of the Roman armies.” His voice blooms stronger when you reach the lobby. “I will find my way around.”

You swallow hard. A small but chaotic idea quickly jumps into your mind, and you decide to put it into action.

So, you hold the exit door open for him. The man nods to you, then strolls out. You follow him.

The towering skyscrapers, the rush of the cars, the stretching concrete roads, it becomes an overwhelming sight while the man whips his face around eyes wide and in shock. His face falls, aghast and disoriented.

That unrealistic conclusion you thought of - you think it might not be so realistic. Because the man turns to you wearing petrified horror, terrified confusion of a man in an unknown world that no actor could truly capture.

Reality smacks into you like a bag of nails.

This man is truly the great General Marcus Acacius.

The missing statue now full man summoned to life.

Someone yells your name.

Your heart drops. Of course Marcus arrives at the worst time. He jogs up to you dressed in what looks like a gym outfit.

“I heard about the statue.” He says worried then his eyes immediately grow cloudy and confused as he catches sight of the strange Roman dressed man.

“Is he… a friend of yours?” Marcus asks hesitantly.

“It’s complicated.” You blurt, panicked.

General Acacius stands still very stunned trying to take this new modern world in. Stumbling, he returns to your side, clutching your arm like you’re the only one who can steady him.

“I…” Acacius begins then stops mid word, still trying to process a reply. Until he catches sight of Marcus.

“You,” The man surveys Marcus with narrowing eyes. “You seem familiar as well.”

This is getting out of hand.

“Okay time to go.” You rapidly try diffusing the situation, moving General Acacius away from Marcus.

“Wait, what’s going on?” Marcus questions, persistently following behind while you head to the parking lot.

You scramble out a lie that the strange man is an old friend you ran into who just came back from a play.

“I told you, I’m no performer.” Acacius insists still. You also discover he’s built like a wall and trying to wrangle him into the car proves to be Herculean.

Swiftly, Marcus firmly snaps out your name. His tone is different, urgent and enforcing. It turns you into a statue yourself.

Comedically, you’re practically halfway shoving Acacius into the car but now stand frozen. He notices the shift in tension quickly.

“Are you frightened of him?” Acacius mutters concern, surprisingly concerned. “Because I can dispose of this man.”

You shake your head no.

Swallowing hard, you finally look Marcus dead in the eyes.

“If I told you, you wouldn’t believe me.” You admit.

“Try me.” Marcus rebuffs, serious as steel.

So you sigh, what more do you have to lose now?

“General, can you please tell him who you are.” You then allow Acacius to speak for himself.

The ancient Roman clears his throat and announces his full title and name. The younger and modern Marcus’s face twists confused with a hint of concern.

Suddenly his eyes go wide. He catches on fast, figures it out quicker than you did that’s for sure.

This cute casual museum visitor you have a slight crush on is now your accomplice and partner in crime.

At least…now you don't have to deal with an ancient Roman General being brought back to life from stone alone.

— °˖➴ —

Marcus’s apartment is lush and cozy, filled with so many books and records. The warm walls, sleek modern design, make your place feel like a hole in the wall. Having a roommate, you couldn’t just bring home a very confused man out of time. So thankfully Marcus offered his home.

Now you’ve practically been living here with General Acacius trying to figure out what happened.

Acacius takes things rather well, almost in stride. Fitting for a general that explored new territories and had to face the unknown chaos of war.

The fridge fascinates him the most. You had to stop yourself from laughing seeing him open and close the refrigerator door like a child wondering if the food inside would disappear.

Marcus has a vice for candy, specifically sour ones. Seeing General Acacius try one and the disgusted face of twisted torture is a memory you’ve replayed over multiple times.

But unfortunately no one can figure out what brought the statue to life and him here.

“I’m a man. Not a statue.” The roman general clarifies.

“You are now, but we gotta figure out why.” You sigh exhausted while Marcus readies breakfast for everyone.

He’s been an incredible host. It’s been hard not lingering on how domestic and warm he is within his own space.

Especially when there’s also an archaic man looking just as handsome walking around in a tight white t shirt Marcus lent him.

Surrounded by two unbelievably gorgeous men has been a double edged sword, a blessing and curse.

General Acacius reminds you of a mountain, ever powerful, sturdy and unwavering with the change of seasons. Yet there’s still an open vulnerability to him. You’ve seen it in how grateful he’s been and how eagerly he’s tried absorbing all about this new world.

Whereas Marcus reminds you of a river, beautifully flowing, always adaptable. But he surprises you with how direct and firm he’s been, almost protective in keeping you and Acacius safe.

You also don’t miss the way Marcus’s eyes sometimes flicker to sneak a glance at the older General. You can’t blame him.

Acacius fills out modern clothes sinfully. Watching him navigate everything with a certain poised grace is attractive. While Marcus has become endearing and patient, incredibly welcoming to this new hiccup in his life. You haven't felt this comfortable with someone in so long.

Truly a river and mountain now exist in your life, and you want to stay in their atmosphere more and more.

But you can’t get tangled in the budding emotions growing for these men.

You need to figure out how to help Acacius.

“Once I get back to the office, I’m hoping I can try to find something that could maybe help.” Marcus clarifies while grabbing his work bag.

You’ve learned much about him these past few days. Like he enjoys a good run, used to be a swimmer, has a soft spot for strays, surprisingly loves football -

Also that he’s a well known FBI agent.

You realized you never once asked what he did for work, and you’ve known him for months.

“You have feelings for that man.” Acacius announces once it’s you and him alone in the apartment. You almost spit out your drink.

“We’re friends, that’s all.” You huff.

This Marcus doesn’t seem to believe you, and gives you a very modern dry eyed side glare that makes you roll your eyes.

“I’ve seen the way he watches you, the look of a man in love.” Acacius continues.

“Well I see the way he stares at you too, pal.” You reply back before you can even realize what you said.

Your words do their job stunning the general.

“He is too young for an old man like me.” Acacius rapidly fires back.

“You’re not that old.” You clarify. “If anything you’re distinguished, mature.”

“You are too kind, dear lady.” He chuckles.

You ignore how fast warmth spreads through you a dangerous wildfire just hearing him.

Your phone ringing makes poor Acacius jump. Though, it’s progress from the confused shout he used to yell whenever the phones rang.

Your boss explains that unfortunately the museum will have to stay closed the rest of the month for further investigations, and everyone’s information has been sent in to check for any suspicious activities.

It sounded serious.

Dead serious because after that phone call, you get called by the police department to head in for a few questions.

You have nothing to hide, except you did.

Because in theory you technically did and didn’t steal the statue. You just know the cops wouldn’t take your explanation.

The interrogation room you sit in is coated in a bleak serious air making you fidget worried. This is also the first time you left General Acacius alone at the apartment and that worry picks at you.

Then two officers walk in. One an older distinguished woman who gives you a nod then the other… a rather striking man.

Hawkish nose, clean shaven face, kind eyes, he smiles soft at you.

Marcus.

The agent that walked in is Marcus.

You try not to stare, but it’s hard. Dressed in an official suit and tie, the badge he wears, he sits across for you a striking professional handsome agent.

The woman introduces herself as one of the head local detectives of the case and the man accompanying her is from the FBI, specifically the head of the art crimes division.

Marcus wasn’t just an agent but someone that important.

You can’t deny how extra attractive it makes him.

“Agent Marcus Pike.” Polite and sweet he outstretches his arm to shake your hand like you’ve never met him before.

The questions are very basic.

Where were you the last time you saw the statue? Do you remember any recent guest that stopped by that maybe seemed suspicious?

You answer as truthfully and as best as you can, while also hiding the ancient Roman sized man truth away.

“Funny enough,” Agent Pike comments. “It does seem like this statue just seems to have…I don’t know, grown legs and walked out itself.”

You weakly laugh at his joke. You don’t miss the tug of his lips trying not to grin.

You leave the room as if you stepped out of a strange pocket dimension. Then again these past few days have felt strange and disorienting.

“Why didn’t you tell me you were the head of some FBI art division?!” You let Marcus have it when you both return back to his apartment.

“Is that dangerous?” Acacius asks curiously.

“I don’t know.” You sigh.

“No…This is good.” Marcus clarifies. He even picked up apology pastries. General Acacius greedily snags a cheese danish and moans in pure delight once he takes a bite.

It’s hard to ignore how incredibly sexy he sounded.

“It means I can keep looking in my records for any previous instances of situations like this, or if there’s any leads on the case I’ll know.” Marcus patiently explains.

That calms you enough.

Days pass, and Acacius grows restless.

He doesn’t sleep well, snapping at you and Marcus often more. He mourns the loss of a world that’s passed, of a wife he lost. The grief comes in waves. You and Marcus try comforting him, but Acacius reminds you of a caged tiger, restless and fanged. You understand. Being cooped up in a strange home in a strange world must be exhausting.

So Marcus and you agree to have a nice weekend out with him.

General Acacius fidgets in the cozy cream knit sweater that stretches over his broad body, but damn does he look incredible. So does Marcus in his scholarly sleek coat.

This trip also works as another opportunity to do more investigating. The nearby bookstore is the first stop. Acacius gasps seeing the stretch of books.

“Pretty impressive, yeah?” Marcus smirks, and you grin agreeing. He decides to take a look at the art history books here for any information he might have missed.

You unfortunately get side tracked with the many books in front of you and slightly wander away from Acacius when one catches your eyes.

But you quickly find your way back to him.

The elder Marcus stands stunned like a ghost among the classical literature holding a thick encyclopedia.

“I knew of what happened to Rome after you and Pike told me. But seeing the grand colosseum like this… it’s a specter of ruins now.” He mutters while taking in the photo of the ancient landmark.

“I am glad. There should be no need for more death matches.” His voice weighs with the heaviness of centuries past.

You agree, happy he shuts the book and returns it back. You’re about to dive into the Ancient Rome section yourself now until he speaks again.

“What if I am not the same man these books speak of?” The older Marcus questions hollowed.

That stuns you.

“What if the man who died many years ago… is not me?” His voice wavers.

Existential dread looms off him a dark storm growing stronger.

Marcus turns the corner smiling bright. But quickly he immediately notices the shift in atmosphere, and his face falls as he mouths asking what’s wrong.

You let General Acacius speak from the heart.

“What if… I am not me? What if I am not the real Marcus Acacius?”

His face is weighted with fear, raw and open making him appear lost and so small for someone powerful as him.

“I believe it’s you.” You reassure him gentle. “I’m sure Marcus does too. Besides… who says you can’t be the same man?”

There are pieces of yourself that you’ve left with people, even some bits of you have gotten snagged in certain places or tied to certain objects. Who says a piece of Marcus Acacius truly resided in the statue and simply woke up. And if that’s the case, then that means he’s as real as ever.

You explain all of this best as you can to Acacius. Those deep steady eyes of his waver transforming into molten earth. Your hand moves down to squeeze his stronger large warm hand.

He squeezes back tight.

“Besides the man that died is still you too. You’re allowed to be both.” Marcus jumps in with the most tender voice

“That does not sound true.” Acacius mutters.

As modern has he’s slowly become, you think it still might be too hard to explain dimensional or reality theory.

“This philosopher I read about once said something along the lines of, if you think, therefore you are.” Marcus clarifies. “You exist here and now. And sometimes that’s all that matters.”

You realize both you and Marcus slowly have huddled around General Acacius. You on one side and Marcus on the other, barricade to support your General as much as you or Marcus can.

Acacius sighs, watery, taking it all in.

Your heart aches for him. It overwhelms you, causing you to gently rest your head against his shoulder and letting your hand rest on his back.

Marcus also moves closer, placing his hand right besides yours, gingerly touching your hand.

Among the books you and these two rest simply in the stillness of the moment. You feel something hook deep in your chest, a feeling you can’t fully express.

After, Marcus treats everyone to his favorite taco truck. It's infectious seeing Acacius’s spirits brighten again. He again moans delicious when he takes his first bite. You don’t miss the awkward cough Marcus makes.

But the tacos are amazing and the cooler weather covers everything in a comforting dreamy cloud.

“I want to explore this world as much as I can.” Acacius declares with resolution and shining gilded hope.

So you start bringing the Roman general out with you more.

The museum is still being investigated, so you take the chance to enjoy the days, especially now with Marcus Acacius by your side. He enjoys your smaller apartment, becomes a fan of cooking shows fast.

Marcus and you discovered he isn’t big on sushi but has a notorious sweet tooth. Acacius embraces everything now with more gusto, a vibrant curiosity about many things, especially food. It’s endearing.

General Acacius also proves to be a lovely companion when you go grocery shopping.

“So many spices.” He says in awe in the aisle.

More people arrive and you try maneuvering your cart through the traffic. General Acacius catches on quick. Staying close to you, he places a comforting hand at your lower back and the other against yours in the cart. Shifting his body against yours, he’s a protective shield until you’re out of the thicket.

It sends the wildest hum of sparks throughout your body that persistently stays. Acacius stays firmly beside the rest of the trip.

For a man out of time, he’s open for conversation. The check out worker seems to blatantly ignore you while she happily and very openly flirts with him.

You don’t say much, ignoring the possessive emerald eyed sense of jealousy threatening to rise. He bids the flirty cashier a good day along with an elegant head nod. You keep quiet heading back to the car.

“That woman, she gave me a strange note with numbers on it.” General Acacius comments cautious, almost worried about what they could be.

You almost trip on the way out.

“Her number, she gave you her phone number.” You explain simply.

Of course you have to elaborate what that means and how it’s a modern way of signaling someone is attracted to you.

“Truly?” His handsome aged face scrunches up confused.

“What can I say? In any year you’re a catch.” You try not to sound wistful.

“I’m an old man not from this time. I have nothing worth for anyone to desire me.” Now he sounds dejected, somber and serious.

“Okay, besides being absolutely one of the most gorgeous men ever, you’re kind. Incredibly loyal and brave. Anyone would be lucky to have you.” Earnesty floats off you.

His face drops, your words finally settling within him. The soft streams of grays in his luscious curled hair and rustic beard, the beautiful scars he wears that tell of his victories…

The statue truly was not able to capture the magnetic pull of this man.

Acacius’s eyes flicker across your face. You swear something shimmers in his deep earth eyes. His gaze flickers down for a split moment, as if he’s glancing at your lips.

Then your phone rings with a text, and you sigh.

This precious bubble you’ve been in, this newly woven existence with these two gorgeous men, is one you want to stay in forever. It’s warm, easy, and feels too nice to leave.

But work eventually crashes in.

The museum finally reopens but with the Roman exhibit closed still. The missing art has brought in more foot traffic to the museum. But what surprises you is seeing Marcus at work now while he works. You and him share sweet secret smiles to each other.

Even with work getting busy for you and him, you’ve been texting with Marcus frequently. It’s even been amusing being on the phone with him and Acacius cries out surprised hearing your voice.

Your mind drifts to them again as you daze off a bit at work.

“So, did you ever drink that tea I gave you?” Your favorite coworker asks, interrupting your daydream.

The confusion must be evident on your face.

“Ya know… the sweet love wish tea?” She grins like a pleased cat that’s about to catch a canary.

An abrupt realization barrels right into you, a fierce horned bull almost knocking you out at the knees. You can’t believe a possible magical tea maybe brought a statue to life. But with that statue now a very real ancient Roman man you’ve been harboring - anything is possible now.

“Can you tell me where the shop is that you got it?” You rapidly ask her.

Your next day off you head down there immediately, not even taking either of your Marcus boys.

The sweetest shop owner greets you warm and welcoming. You compliment her lovely silvery lavender hair.

“Oh it’s to hide the grays.” She winks, and you grin.

But the nervousness rises because you don’t even know how to approach the question you have.

“Something seems to be bothering you.” Of course she notices but speaks with a gentle tone.

Your heavy sigh must say it all. Very sweetly she pulls out a stool by the register and settles in waiting to hear your story.

Even with her welcoming smile, the hesitation pulls at you. But you manage to gently explain what happened without revealing the dizzying truth.

“So I drank the love wish tea. And something… someone I never imagined would come into my life did. So now I don’t know if there’s a way I could probably send him back to what, to where, he was.” You tell her.

The shop owner hums in deep thought, crossing her hands over her chest nodding.

“Is it a ghost? Did you call in a spirit? Are you in love with a ghost?” She asks flat out without hesitation, and you almost laugh.

She’s half right in a way.

“I’m thinking…possibly the one thing that came to mind that I would do first is to do an unbinding spell. Whatever is keeping this man here, the separation of that would be what sends him back.” She says jumping off her chair, waving at you to follow her through the shop.

You quickly scurry behind her.

Grabbing a pack of two candles, the ritual she describes is simple enough. Tying a string around the two candles, lighting them until they burn, which in the process would burn the thread, theoretically severing the tie of Acacius to this world.

“And you said it was the love wish tea you drank, yes?”

You nod, and she nods back in understanding.

“What that tea is meant to do is call in your heart’s desires, simply allow the universe to bring whatever magic it seems fit to your life…But it also isn’t doing it forcefully.” She explains.

The tea is known to work because it calls in someone who desires the same thing you do, almost like a little nudge in the matchmaking department, a magic magnet.

“It works because someone else is also receptive. But of course, there is no need to stay with whoever is brought to you.”

Her words sink into a deep corner of your heart. You wonder if that meant Marcus Acacius longed for a better future, and it’s why the tea worked on him.

Thanking her graciously, you take the candles and a few cute stickers she has by the counter.

“I hope everything works out for you, gorgeous.” Her warm smile becomes a comforting hug.

You hope so too.

But the way your stomach twists, a part of you realizes… what if you don’t want Marcus Acacius to leave?

It’s selfish - but you want this trio of you, him and Marcus Pike, to last as long as it possibly can.

Driving to Marcus’s apartment, guilt and selfishness fight each other tooth and nail. You don’t know if this unbinding spell would work, but it would be a start.

With the spare key Marcus gave you, you let yourself in.

There on the couch you catch the quickest glimpse of both men heavily making out with the elder Marcus greedily holding onto Agent Pike’s sharp jaw. You wonder if maybe you’re seeing things, but the image knocks you breathless.

The younger and modern Marcus, who halfway was on the elder General’s lap immediately, bolts away as if electrocuted.

On the table, you spot two glasses of wine.

They both stare at you, caught red handed. Immediately though, you scramble out apologies.

“I should have called and-”

Marcus says your name. “It’s.. it’s okay.”

You feel so foolish right now. You didn’t even think that they had a thing, and that you were possibly the third wheel.

“I can leave. I totally understand.” You really do.

“No.” Acacius orders, saying your name, firmly shaking his head as he rises. His eyes rusted steel swords that pin you to where you stand.

“This started because of you.” He adds.

Wait.

Because of you?

“Wait, are you guys drunk?” You even voice your confusion.

Both Marcus men shake their heads no.

“We were just talking about you, about us.” The younger Marcus explains.

“And it took us some time but we both desire each other. And we both desire you.” General Acacius simply interjects, and Marcus coughs stunned.

You wonder if you’re the one who’s been brought to life in another time.

“Honey, please don’t feel pressured if you don’t feel the same.” Marcus, wonderful Marcus Pike, ever understanding and eternally good.

“I’ve liked you for so long. Even tried to ask you out a couple of times, just got a bit of cold feet. It just unfortunately took an ancient Roman to get me to finally say something.” He laughs weakly, boyishly nervous.

He’s liked you all this time.

You don’t say anything, don’t think there’s any words you can say just yet. Simply the emotions overtake you.

You head first to the younger Marcus and kiss him with a fierce tug at his shirt. He happily pulls you into him and sighs into your lips.

A soft but large hand runs up your back, and the sensation makes your body bloom.

“You both are so beautiful.” The older Marcus mutters dripping with adoration.

With a squeeze to Marcus’s shoulder and one final soft kiss, you pull away then melt into the general’s waiting arms. His mustache tickles you as his lips kiss yours, but it’s divine.

Their hands all over you touch every inch they can. You’ve never felt this desired, never been the epicenter of affection and passion like this before. You just as eagerly try grabbing at either man with as much clawed possession as you can.

They’re both yours now after all.

Tumbling into the bedroom it’s like something out of a dream, blissful and deliciously decadent, but so real with how heated your body feels.

Both men start kissing your exposed skin, with one licking at your neck from behind and the other readily nipping at your exposed chest. Your mind melts in bliss.

“Marcus,” you sigh.

You’re rewarded with two beautiful groans, different in tones it becomes a symphony you want to hear forever.

In the blurry of haze, the sticky syrupy desire, you and the younger Marcus follow each other peppering multiple kisses on Acacius’s chest as he falls onto the bed.

You and the modern Marcus work together, conquering the beautiful golden exposed landscape of Marcus Acacius’s chest. You tenderly press your lips against the various scars then happily move to kiss the younger Marcus.

The delicious sighs from General Acacius fill the room, a hypnotic soundtrack.

Soon your lips start traveling further down across his body. Your fellow lover follows your trail, kissing and kicking every inch of Acacius. You and Marcus reach his cock twitching in the loose sweatpants Acacius has grown fond of.

“Fuck.” Marcus groans as he drags the older man’s cock out.

Fuck is right. Thick, girthy and dripping already, you already ache to have him inside in any way.

“Both of you are little fiends.” The elder Marcus croaks breathless. Confidence surges in you as you lick across his length, relishing in the taste of his skin.

Marcus’s tongue also licks with you along your other lover’s cock, even moving across your tongue. The louder groans coming from General Acacius only spur you and Marcus on.

Greedily your eyes flicker up towards the towering force of a warrior. The beautiful older man’s eyes blown black, desired drenched galaxies looking down at you and Marcus like prizes he wants to conquer himself.

It makes you dizzy, completely possessed, and you kiss your way down to one of his thick large heavy balls. You tentatively lick. Acacius initially hisses until his voice melts into the loudest primal groan when you start sucking.

Your sweet Marcus immediately follows your lead, dragging his mouth down as well. You and him simply devour Acacius, licking back and forth across your lover’s balls and each other’s mouths.

Marcus quickly starts stroking your lover’s thick cock. It’s heaven being among these two, allowing yourself to get lost in the golden ecstasy.

When Acacius reaches his release you greedily lick up his cum that spilled against his skin, and he groans. Once you sit up, you reach for Marcus’s cum covered hand and begin to lick and suck his fingers clean. It’s then your sweet Marcus that suddenly grabs your mouth with the same hand, pulling your face towards his.

“Don’t swallow baby, I wanna taste.” He mutters with blazed out eyes.

Hearing that you almost come on the spot.

You sit up and slowly allow your spit and the milky cum into Marcus’s waiting mouth.

“Gods above.” The elder Marcus moans carnal.

The rest of the night consumes you in a wanton haze.

Sweaty, exhausted, but floating on a cloud, you sink into the bed with two men barricading you in their arms.

“I’m surprised you were…open to this.” You say to Acacius who chuckles a bit.

“I have loved others before, some included men. One was even a fellow General who died tragically among the same coliseum walls as I once did.” He explains gently.

You kiss his chest softly in understanding.

As you and these two lie curled into one another on Marcus’s lush bed, it’s like a new door has opened.

You and Marcus eagerly ask your General about his days in ancient Rome and his travels across the old world, about the true story of how he got his scar. Ever the steady man, Acacius answers all questions he can.

In the middle of this warm incredible double Marcus sandwich makes you giddy. But Acacius’s deep comforting lull of a voice, Marcus’s soft hands stroking your skin, create a cocoon drawing you to sleep faster than you realize.

A soft kiss comes to the top of your head.

“Rest. We will be here when you wake.”

Nodding through a yawn, you happily kiss them both goodnight. But just before you fall into the depths of sleep, you catch the two talking.

“What… will happen if I do not return to stone?” Acacius speaks first, so low and cautious you wonder if you’re dreaming already.

“I… I guess the statue will remain incomplete, stolen.” Marcus answers truthful but gentle.

A moment passes.

“What if I do not wish to return to stone?” Acacius clarifies.

You hear Marcus inhale sharp.

“I’ve longed for peaceful days away from the brutality of the frontline. And now… it’s here.”

A thick hope shines through the older Marcus’s voice, slipping past your ribs to piece your heart.

Movement shifts the bed, arms reach across for each other and seem to cage around you more.

“You’ll always have the final say. You get to make that choice. Neither of us would ever want to force you or take that away from you.” Marcus’s molten words are coated in pure understanding.

“I wish to stay here… with you and her.” Confidence, solidified resolution, radiate from the General’s voice.

The bed shifts again, and you hear them exchange the softest kiss.

“We’ll have to make sure to tell her in the morning.” The modern Marcus sighs dreamily. His hands again start rubbing your arm soothing, as if he can sense you’re fighting sleep.

“Of course. We must never forget our lady.” The older Marcus agrees.

His words along with a soft kiss to your forehead become the final push that allows sleep to settle.

— °˖➴ —

“So you’re telling me mister head of the art crimes department will be okay with a statue staying stolen and missing forever?” You smirk amused while Marcus drives down the familiar roads.

“Hey it’s no Vemeer’s Concert, but I’ll live with it.” Marcus playfully smirks and shrugs.

The investigation on General Acacius’s missing statue had run cold. There was no indication of a break in or forced exit. From the surveillance tapes, the video recordings simply shimmer, distorted for one moment, and then the statue is gone. As if it vanished into thin air.

Or is simply currently sitting in the back seat of the car taking in the world and power of a motor vehicle.

“You hear that, General? Our boy said you’re not valuable.” You tease.

“I don’t mind and I can agree.” Acacius replies bored, making you laugh. The green sweater he wears compliments him and brings out the streams of grays in his hair. You and Marcus have loved seeing him embrace modern clothing more than ever.

“That’s not what I meant.” Marcus rolls his eyes.

You snicker even more.

The occult shop arrives, and the candles feel lighter than ever in your bag, especially knowing you’re here to return them.

“Seems like you didn’t need these after all.” Your favorite lavender haired shop owner says with a coy smirk. Her eyes stay locked on your men exploring the aisles.

“A two for one deal? I'm definitely advertising that for the tea.” She adds eagerly, and you hide a laugh behind your hand.

If only you could tell her the full truth.

You return to your boys, enjoying the way Acacius seems to be a bit petrified among all of the occult objects.

“Are you sure this witchcraft is safe?” He asks worried, snd Marcus smooths by rubbing his back.

You grin.

Love, affection, might be the strangest but most beautiful magic after all.

[mod2amaryllis]

doing a good job of being zen today not looking at any news like it's outta my hands now, anxiety is unproductive, just chill! then the moment my beloved long time barista opened the drive thru window he's like "HANGING IN THERE??? IF WE CAN JUST TAKE NEVADA I THINK WE'LL BE OK" and I'm like ANDREW STOP

[kotaerukoto]

Hey everyone, before I go to sleep I just want to say again how grateful I am for everyone bearing with me while I've been so slow recently. Work's been exhausting, I've had a lot of family occurrences, just stuff happening. I think I've realized why getting words down, why writing the characters I love so much has been so difficult. I think I'm going to start experimenting with my writing style again, try out the old way I wrote, and see if that feels more natural to me-- I think I've been trying to constrain my writing into something more "typical". Just wanted to say that before I drop replies tomorrow that have a different style than usual (as in the past year or so).

[shy-writer-999]

Embarrassing Confessions: Zoro is a virgin and he's insecure (Part 1)

Warnings: MDNI, AGELESS BLOGS DNI. THIS IS NSFW CONTENT.

Author’s note: Part One is tame angst and pure plot (no smut), ~5,400 words. Part Two will have all the smut, so stick around for that. I have a fascination with the idea of Zoro pining over you in secret and getting flustered and embarrassed about it. In this fic, Zoro’s ego gets bruised and you comfort him. You both get drunk and Zoro runs his mouth too much. It’s a slow burn like my last fic and will also end with smut (◡‿◡✿) Plz note that the reader is sort of giving OC, she (you) gives a brief description of ‘losing’ her virginity to some guy from ‘back home’.

TW: Alcohol abuse – Zoro blacks out; also if you have emetophobia maybe skip this one? There's a brief nod to the usual hangover symptoms.

Embarrassing Confessions: Zoro is a virgin and he's insecure (Part 1)

Word on the ship was that Zoro was still a virgin. It had slipped out somehow, maybe in a game of spin the bottle or never-have-I-ever. But you learned about it secondhand when Sanji made fun of him for it, right in Zoro's face. Sanji said something crude, along the lines of "Zoro's just mad because his virgin ass has never gotten his dick wet."

Zoro was immediately livid. His face turned red and he snapped back with "Shut up Sanji, you don't even know what the fuck you're talking about. Fuck you." Genuinely upset, he stormed out of the room and slammed the door behind him. When Sanji and Zoro bickered it usually had an element of playfulness, casualness, genuine annoyance, yes, but... you weren't sure that Sanji had said anything this cruel and embarrassing before, outing something that Zoro was, obviously, uncomfortable with and most likely embarrassed by.

You were surprised, both by Zoro’s reaction and the simple fact itself. You had always assumed that Zoro got action wherever he went, I mean, look at him. To think that he had never felt the touch of a woman… you honestly couldn’t wrap your head around it. And you felt like a creep because you were intrigued by it. Truthfully, your intrigue was not arousal but rather an earnest desire to learn more about this man who you had been developing feelings for, for months.

The only person who knew about your feelings was Nami. As soon as Sanji made the remark and Zoro stormed out, you immediately looked at Nami, and she glanced at you at the same time. It was like you exchanged a thought or read each other’s minds, one of those unspoken moments with your best friend across the room. It was a “what the fuck?” moment, a split second, but you knew that Nami would want you to go after Zoro and try to comfort him somehow.

You loved Sanji like a brother, but sometimes he could be a real asshole. “Nice one, Sanji,” you said sardonically, dead-pan and annoyed. “I think that was over the line this time.” You stared him down coldly. He immediately jumped to self-defense, but you waved your hand and told him to “can it,” as you exited onto the deck to see if Zoro was doing okay. You had no idea what you would say to him to make him feel better and you were sure that anything you said would come off as corny and patronizing, but you were damned well going to try. After all, it seemed like no one on the ship could talk about these things with Zoro except for you. There was something about you that made him open up, show a softer side, share things that he would otherwise have kept to himself.

Zoro was nowhere to be seen on deck, so that left only one option. You climbed up to the crow’s nest where he was sitting, scowling, and looking out over the open ocean. He was clearly mulling over Sanji’s comment in his head, turning it over and examining it from different angles, sitting in the embarrassment and trying to figure out why he felt so much shame. He never had put much energy into women, had no urge to ‘lose’ his virginity, as if that was an actual object that one could lose (he scoffed at the thought).

For a long time, Zoro felt like he wasn’t missing out on anything—as far as women were concerned, he couldn’t be asked. But in the past few months he had been feeling differently, no thanks to you. That’s why when he saw you climb into the crow’s nest after suffering that embarrassment from Sanji, he muttered fuck to himself and scowled even harder.

“Spare me the embarrassment,” he grumbled, turning his face away from you. He was starting to blush, but you didn’t notice it.

“That got you pretty worked up, huh?” You sat down on the floor near to him, cocking your head so you could peer more into his face, inspecting his impression, which he obviously did not feel like sharing.

Your observation was met with a terse silence.

“Hey, Zoro?” You said softly. He turned to meet your eyes as your tone shifted and you were caught off guard by how vulnerable and tortured his expression was. “It’s not a big deal. No one on the crew cares or thinks any less of you. Sanji was just trying to get under your skin, he didn’t mean to be cruel or malicious. You know he loves you like a brother.”

Zoro sighed and rested his head in his hands. “I know. I don’t know why I let that jackass piss me off so much… I guess he struck a nerve. I- I’ve been feeling… I don’t fucking know. I guess I’ve been feeling kind of... self-conscious about it, recently…” He trailed off. You were shocked by his candor. You were used to him being honest and more vulnerable with you, but this was more than you had been expecting. He was truly opening up to you. You had never seen him show an ounce of self-doubt or insecurity before.

“Yeah?” You prompted, feeling like he had more that he wanted to say. He turned to you again.

“I never really gave a shit about this kind of stuff before, y’know? I’ve got other stuff to keep me busy. But… recently… I don’t know.” He sighed.

You nodded in response. Zoro was a man of few words when it came to emotional vulnerability, and you could tell that the conversation was coming to a close.

“Well, Zoro, if you ever want to talk about it, I’m here. I was kind of a late bloomer so… I get it.” You looked at him carefully. “Let’s grab a drink later, ‘kay?” He nodded, and that was it.

You didn’t know that you were the main reason Zoro had been reflecting on being a ‘virgin’ (he hated that word). Talking to you about it made him feel some sort of way that he couldn’t quite put his finger on. Something inside of him twisted a little bit when you had looked into his eyes so seriously and with so much care. He tried to shrug it off and went back to cursing Sanji in his head, avoiding the actual dilemma he was facing, choosing escapism and mentally berating Sanji instead.

---

That night, you and Zoro cracked open a few bottles of sake, as promised. You had done this countless times in the past and nothing weird or unexpected happened except a few lingering glances that you both played off. But tonight it seemed like Zoro was drinking more than usual. You got the impression that he was drinking away his sorrows or drinking to forget about how genuinely upset he had been earlier in the day.

You were matching his drinks, as you sometimes did, just for fun. It felt like a kind of silly competition between you two sometimes. But keeping up tonight was hard, you were already getting a stomachache and could feel the dehydration creeping in… you knew the hangover was going to be a monster.

When he got drunk drunk, Zoro could become callous, rude, sarcastic, kind of an ass. He never really sent that in your direction, it was frequently towards Sanji, sometimes Usopp, Luffy, even Nami, if he really was going crazy. It was your least favorite characteristic about him; it was concerning, and it was a huge turn-off. But usually it wasn’t too bad, only mildly annoying. At worst, it gave you a sort of mini-ick.

Tonight was shaping up to be one of those nights, had it not taken an unexpected left turn. You and Zoro were the only crew members drinking, and everyone else was doing their own thing. It was dusk, warm outside, and the stars overhead were already breathtaking. You found yourselves back in the crow’s nest. This was honestly Zoro’s safe space—the isolation gave him peace of mind.

Zoro was laying on his side, with his head propped up on one arm, leisurely facing you. You had been bickering and talking over silly things for a couple hours at this point, like tidbits of sword-making history, or how much meat you’ve seen Luffy eat at once. After a lull in conversation, Zoro finally broached what had been on his mind all day, a nagging thought at the back of his head that he knew that he shouldn’t ask, but he grew bolder as he got drunker. And he was getting drunker.

“Hey, Y/N,” he began. “When did you lose your virginity?”

That was really out of the blue. You were shocked by the question, not expecting it at all. You two had never talked about anything like this. Oftentimes it was Sanji crossing the line and you telling him to fuck off. But for Zoro to go there…? Weird. He was presumably just wondering about it since you said you were a late bloomer too, and you guessed he must be seeking validation. After all, he was obviously embarrassed about the whole thing. A little reassurance and sincerity couldn’t hurt.

“Well, uh…” You hesitated. “I actually had sex for the first time a couple years ago.” That was enough of an answer, right? No point in oversharing.

“What was that like?” He got bolder, locking eyes with you. He was certainly drunk, and you were too. But beyond that, you felt the vibe shift and his eyes seemed more intense. Your voice got caught in your throat for a second. He probably was just seeking some reassurance, right? Everyone always talked about how they had a horrible first time, I’m sure he’s looking for more confirmation or something like that because he’s insecure… you said to yourself.

“Oh, uh… It wasn’t the best first time but also not the worst. It wasn’t as bad as everyone kind of makes their first time seem, if you know what I mean? It was with some guy from my hometown, we grew up together. Kind of like a childhood crush, boy-next-door type of vibe.”

Zoro felt a pang of jealousy. The alcohol pushed him deeper into a grave of embarrassment, rash behavior, and unspoken boundary breaking that he was about to start digging.

“Lucky guy.” He murmured, barely audible, as he shifted onto his back with his hands behind his head, staring up at the sky. He wasn’t looking at you anymore, now staring straight up. You could see him exhale, jaw clenching.

Wait, what did he just say? ‘Lucky guy’?

You had no idea how to respond to that. He seemed to be implying that the man you slept with was lucky. And why would that be?

An unsure “What?” escaped your lips. It was purely a reflex, you weren’t expecting a real answer, you figured he was going to laugh it off, you heard him wrong, something like that. This was like really out of character for him, at least in your experience. You had honestly wondered if he was asexual sometimes because he just never said stuff like this and had never talked about it to anyone on crew. To hear him ask about this sort of thing after all this time was surprising. Maybe there was a side to him that you never knew.

Without hesitation, Zoro responded immediately, doubling down. “I said, lucky guy.” He turned and looked at you and blush quickly flooded your face. He wasn’t smiling, and his gaze was bold and almost piercing, so… it wasn’t a joke. Unless it was? If he was fucking with you then that would be weird as hell.

“Oh, uh… I guess he was lucky! Hahaha…” You tried to play it off with an awkward smile and half-hearted chuckle, hoping he didn’t notice that your face was bright red.

But Zoro kept going. “Were you surprised that I’m still a virgin?” You now realized he was faintly slurring his words. “I’m just curious.”

What was up with all these questions? You sighed. Well, whatever he wants to find out I guess he’ll find out. Looks like we’re playing 20 questions.

“Yeah, Zoro,” you responded. “To be honest, I was surprised.”

“Why?”  He asked forcefully, but this time he sat up from where he was laying and pulled himself a couple of feet in your direction. This would make him maybe a foot away from you, looking at you straight on. Your heart beat quickened.

Ok now this is getting weird. What is his angle? He must be feeling bad about the whole thing and now he’s fishing for compliments. With this conclusion, you rolled your eyes at him and exhaled. You could be playful with him now that you realized he just had a bruised ego, it wasn’t more serious than that. He was being a little pathetic, but that was all.

“Zoro, I’m surprised because you’re manly, strong, and attractive. Is that what you wanted to hear?” You kind of laughed.

And while you thought Zoro was fishing for compliments, you were wrong. He was finally asking you questions that had been burning in his mind for days. He sincerely wanted to know what you really thought of him, simple as that. And he was curious about your sexual life. He certainly was very drunk but even so, he still cringed as he asked each question. But fuck, he just had to know. He wanted to know so bad that he felt like he was suffocating. He had to have answers, but he was getting dizzy, his body felt heavy, all he knew was that he wanted to be closer to you.

He scooted closer again, so that your knees were touching. At this point your heart was beating out of your chest. His face was less than a foot away from yours. He may not have known, but you did have a painfully intense crush on him, and his closeness was having quite the effect on you. It was the same for him, too.

“Do you really mean that, or are you just saying it?” He slurred out again, stronger this time, leaning even closer. Your faces were maybe six inches away now. You were likewise feeling intoxicated, and it made time feel like it was slowing down, slogging along. Your intoxication was making you not only extremely thirsty (in both ways) but it was making you hyper aware and locked in to the blisteringly intense eye contact Zoro was holding with you, almost not blinking.

“I-I really mean it.” You squeaked out, almost as a whisper. Holy fuck, was he about to kiss you?

“Good.” He mumbled, and then he placed one of his huge hands on the cusp of your knee and thigh. He squeezed. You inhaled sharply. His eyes were still glued to yours. There’s no way he didn’t see your blush, it was vivid. He started to lean in, maybe for a kiss, perhaps he was advancing with no goal other than to be closer to you.

Right when you felt like you were about to explode from the blood rushing to your face and your heart beating out of your chest, Zoro’s eyes closed and he abruptly collapsed forward into your lap, letting out what sounded like a groan and then… was that…. Snoring? It looked like the alcohol suddenly hit him like a truck all at once.

Sure enough, you leaned over him and saw that he was passed out on your lap, mossy hair ruffled, and his mouth open ever so slightly. He is prone to sleeping randomly, you shrugged, and God, he looks so good. He even smelled good.

You sat there until you calmed yourself down, feeling his heavy weight in your lap, the warmth of his skin pressing onto yours. He hadn’t let go of your thigh yet. You shook his shoulder lightly. It was time for the night to be over—he needed to get off you so that you could get him water, a pillow, and a blanket. He’d have to fall asleep up in the crow’s nest because there was no way you could pick him up or drag him downstairs.

“Hey, Zoro?” You said softly. “Zoro, you need to wake up a bit. You need to move so I can get you a pillow and blanket. It’s bedtime. Hey.” You shook him again and couldn’t help but notice the hard ripples of his muscles under his shirt. You paused for a moment and patted his head. “Zoro. Wake up.”

“Wha-what?” He groaned, raising his head ever so slightly.

“Zoro, I need to get up really quick. Lay down on your side for me, ok?

He groaned again, making your heart skip a beat. Fuck, that noise was hot. Sheesh.

Evidently a colossal effort, Zoro squeezed your thigh tightly one last time then raised himself just barely enough to collapse onto his side on the floor next to you. You peered at him for a second, thinking he was passed out again, making sure he was ok. As you rose to your feet and started to climb downstairs, he stirred.

“Baaaby,” he grunted out needily. “Are you coming back, baabbbyy? Don’t just leave me up here, Y/N.” You froze and looked at him. He was in the same position, with his eyes closed, breathing heavily. And yes, you had heard him right. Because he had said it damn loud. Holy shit, that made you feel some sort of way. But Zoro was so drunk at this point there’s no way he could have any control over his words. The lights were on but no one was home. He mumbled your name one more time.

“Zoro, I’ll be right back, I’m grabbing you a blanket and a pillow,” you quipped back, and he murmured something nonsensical while you started the quick descent to the deck.

It took you less than a minute to get him a blanket, a pillow, a glass of water, and a bucket, in case he threw up. You grabbed yourself a pillow and blanket, too. You couldn’t conscience letting him sleep up there by himself when he was so drunk. It took you a couple trips, but you managed to bring everything up to the crow’s nest. Zoro looked like he was proper passed out, so you spread the blanket over him and knelt by his head. Again, you shook his shoulder softly. “Zoro, lift your head up. I brought you a pillow.” He complied. He looked so sweet and soft. You wished you could kiss his cheeks a hundred times and run your fingers through his hair so badly.

You dragged your own blanket and pillow to the other side of the nook, giving him as much space as you could. Moments after you curled up and shut your eyes, Zoro stirred again, letting off another string of vaguely suggestive entreaties. “Y/N,” he murmured, “why’re you… all the way over there… you don’t wanna… w-wwanna sleep with me???”

This poor dude isn’t going to remember a thing tomorrow, you thought. In this moment you pitied him. You were sure he just wanted you to come cuddle with him, which was really sweet and all, but he was way too drunk right now to be touched with a ten-foot pole. And you already knew that if he remembered any of this tomorrow, he’d be too embarrassed to look you in the eye.

“Zoro, go to bed, sweetie, it’s getting late.” He did some more grumbling and nonsensical whining in response but soon he was out like a light, and you followed suit quickly.

---

Sure enough, Zoro woke up at sunrise feeling like absolute shit. He was hungover. Monstrously hungover. He couldn’t remember most of the tail end of last night and that made him uneasy, embarrassed at the thought that he could have said something out of pocket to you. He didn’t even want to think about the possibility of drunkenly confessing his feelings. As he rubbed the sleep out of his eyes and tried to work the stiffness out of his neck, he realized that you were sleeping peacefully across from him. You must have brought out the pillows and blankets, the bucket and glass of water (which he promptly chugged). His heart twisted a bit when he realized how thoughtful and caring you had been towards him. Fuck.

You were breathing quietly, sleeping on your side facing him. Your hair was messed up, all flopped to one side, your face was soft and sweet. He just watched you sleep for a few minutes, realizing that he was being creepy as fuck but thinking he would not have the opportunity to sit and stare at you like this for a long time. He was taken with you. Anything that you felt even remotely insecure about, Zoro loved about you. On top of that, he thought you were ethereally beautiful; he would muse over how soft your skin must be, how good your hair must smell, how he hoped he’d be able to see the color of your eyes closer, how beautifully your lips turned up into a smile whenever you would see him. He wasn’t merely infatuated with your beauty—it was more than that. He admired you as a person, he thought you were brilliant, smart, and kind.

Fuck. He berated himself. You fucking idiot, what did you say to her?

He remembered asking you when you lost your virginity—or, er… did he ask you how you lost it? It was hazy. He certainly remembered throwing back the glasses of sake like they were water.

He blushed crimson immediately upon remembering that he made some comment like “lucky guy” or “lucky dude” while referring to the first man you had sex with. Fuck, that was embarrassing. And he had a feeling that he took it one step further than that, maybe he said or did something else… he wasn’t sure at that point. He hoped he hadn’t done anything that made you feel uncomfortable or unsafe.

Zoro rarely ever drank this much—he must have been feeling extra bothered and upset by Sanji’s comment about his virginity. Zoro knew that drinking was a horrible, horrible way of coping with his feelings. But sometimes he felt like he just wanted to self-sabotage or self-indulge in feeling like shit. And alcohol certainly made him feel like shit. But he had never drank this much when you were around.

Zoro wasn’t so sure how Drunk Zoro would handle your presence. He had a sinking feeling that he probably made himself look like an ass. Maybe he got way too loud, maybe he overstepped with his questions, maybe he came off as some huge, perverted creep trying to get a better picture about what it would be like to fuck you. He felt many, many pangs of regret and repulsion at himself. He was being hard on himself.

And while it definitely would have embarrassed him, and he would have felt more ashamed than he already did by knowing everything he said, he would have been surprised to know that the version of Drunk Zoro with only you around wanted nothing more than to be close with you—evidenced by the scooting closer, touching your thigh, staring deeply into your eyes, entreaties to sleep with (or was that by?) him. But he had no way of knowing what he did yet, because you were asleep, and he was prideful.

All this angsty reflection and regret was quickly interrupted by the hangover. He needed to do something about that. It was becoming a problem fast. He refused to make any sort of use out of that bucket while you were around. So, he swiped up the bucket, his empty glass, his pillow and blanket, and shuffled down the ladder steps.

---

When he was feeling less disgusting and had chugged a few more glasses of water, Zoro wondered what to do with himself. He would normally be up in the crow’s nest around this time of morning. And it didn’t escape him that you were going to be extremely hungover as well, especially because you had been matching his drinks for the most part (he could remember that) and you had way less of a tolerance than him.

He decided that he ought to bring up some water to you and hang out up there until you woke up. Maybe he’d be able to gauge how massively he fucked up by your expression or demeanor. Only one way to find out. Also, he’d take any opportunity and use any excuse to spend some peace and quiet with you. It was a treat that he rarely got.

He filled a big glass of water for you, and something struck him—what if he brought you up some fruit for breakfast? Would that be weird? He knew that you usually had fruit for breakfast, so… why not? He couldn’t think about it too much or else he’d clam up and get too shy. Fuck it, he told himself. Fruit it is. What’s an added benefit was that no one else was awake to tease him about bringing you breakfast or spending the night with you. So he took a couple of extra minutes to wash up and chop some fruit for you. He plated it as neatly as he could and grabbed a napkin as well. It was a simple but wholesome, caring gesture.

By the time Zoro was making his way back up to the crow’s nest, you had been awake for a minute or two. You were stretching as he climbed into the nook and your eyes met his with a sweet smile. “Good morning,” you chirped, feeling like shit from the hangover, but also tickled that you got to spend just a little bit more time with Zoro. You thought there was absolutely no way he remembered any of the advances or suggestive remarks from last night, and you wouldn’t hold any of it against him or treat him any differently for it. You were just happy to be hanging out with him, and the morning was beautiful. You felt no pressure or even desire to let him know everything that he said last night in the pits of drunken belligerence, and you didn’t plan on sharing unless he prompted.

“Hey,” he greeted you and placed the plate of fruit and glass of water next to you. “Here’s some breakfast. Figured it may get me even with you, since you took care of me last night. Sorry if I was an ass.”

Zoro was doing something as sweet as bringing you breakfast? You knew he had it in him. You always thought that there was some softness and sweetness to him, under those tough layers. Gosh, this was really nice of him.

“Thanks for bringing me fruit!” You responded. “You didn’t make an ass out of yourself, you were actually being really sweet,” you smiled again, and his heart skipped a beat. It felt like it twisted a little bit. Fuck, he had such a crush on you. He felt cringey and awkward when you were around sometimes, hyperaware of his every move, wondering how you felt about him. It was so easy for him to blush when you were around, too. He hoped every time that you couldn’t see it. He knew now that he must have been turning various shades of pink and red because he felt the hot blood rise to his face… and this time you did notice. His cheeks took on a pinkish flush, a shade that fitted him so well. God, he’s so cute, you thought to yourself. He was blushing so hard because you called him sweet.

“Oh, uh.. Sweet? What do you mean?” He acknowledged what you said out loud, putting out a sort of rhetorical question. How had he been sweet? Were you referring to the intrusive questions about your virginity, or did he do something else? What on earth could that mean?

You felt like teasing him a little bit with your answer—nothing too serious, since he seemed a little worried about it. “Yeah, you were sweet… you did call me baby a couple of times. It wasn’t too bad.”

Zoro turned crimson. He started to stutter out an apology— “Oh my god, I’m so sorry, I-”

“Zoro,” you cut him off. “It’s fine, don’t worry. I know you didn’t mean anything by it. You were super drunk.” He attempted to stutter out another apology and you waved your hand. “Don’t worry, seriously, it wasn’t creepy or anything, it was cute.”

Neither of you thought Zoro could blush any harder, but he did. Cute? He was getting so flustered. He took a beat before hoarsely choking out a response. He expected that he had been a bit weird but… calling you baby? Get a grip, man! He scolded himself. But if that was all… it could have been a lot worse.

“Aghhh… Did I do anything else humiliating?” He asked, shaking his head and covering his eyes with his hand, visibly cringing. He didn’t even think to ask what context he called you baby in. It didn’t matter. He had called you baby, and that was that.

“I wouldn’t say it was humiliating but when you were falling asleep you kind of like… asked me to get in bed with you? It wasn’t creepy though, I think you were chilly.”

Zoro’s jaw dropped. Oh my fucking god. Get in bed with her?! What the fuck? He reprimanded himself internally. This was so much worse than he could have imagined. “Look, I’m so, so sorry I… I don’t know what got into me. I’m sorry, I-”

“Zoro, don’t worry about it, seriously. It was endearing and I didn’t take it any sort of negative way.” You took note of how absolutely vivid red his cheeks were. His fists were clenched. Poor guy was obviously going through it.

Zoro was turning the words over in his mind again and again—sweet, cute, endearing. He had never received any of this sort of praise from you before and it made his stomach flip.

Suddenly a shrill voice cut through the air. “Y/N, MY DEAREST SWEET~~ WOULD YOU LIKE SOME COFFEE MY DARLING?” Sanji shouted up to you in the crow’s nest.

You smiled and rolled your eyes at Zoro, sort of mocking Sanji. “Let’s do this again soon, Zoro… silliness aside… I had a really nice time. You really were being sweet so don’t worry about it. I’m going to get some coffee and take a shower. Thanks for the fruit!” You gathered your fruit and glass and shouted back down at Sanji. “Coming!” You did one last pretty smile and wave and then descended below.

Zoro was still reeling from the revelations of his drunken antics. He could have jumped overboard right about now, had it not been for your repeated description of him as “sweet” and “cute.” Your words rang in his ears—“Let’s do this again soon, Zoro.”

So he had called you baby and tried to get you to sleep with him, but it had been sweet and cute? It didn’t really make sense to Zoro but something inside of him fluttered a little bit. You weren’t totally averse and disgusted towards him after last night, so… that was good, right?

Zoro was absolutely mind-fucked at the whole interaction. He was kicking himself in embarrassment, flustered, bright red, his heart was beating out of his chest, but he was also ecstatic because you said you wanted to spend more time with him again. He was completely ashamed but buzzing at the same time. He hadn’t felt like this in years and years, in fact, he wasn’t sure if he had ever been this worked up about a crush before.

Upon second thought, he realized that he did have a shadow of a memory of him calling you baby, along with a suggestion in his mind of the moment when he groaned your name and begged you to come to bed with him. He had wanted you to curl up next to him and sleep there, to be close with him, to feel your warmth, your skin, your heartbeat. He couldn’t believe that all of this started because Sanji’s asshole remark yesterday about his virginity. And there was that virginity and you, two things that were currently posing a problem for him. He could only let himself fantasize slightly about fucking you, but… he didn’t let himself get too carried away (yet).

Stay tuned for part two: Zoro is yet again sexually frustrated, and you decide to help him solve his problem (smut, smut, smut)!

Update: Here's part two!

And here's my masterlist...

♡＾▽＾♡ (◕ㅅ◕✿) ଘ(੭ˊᵕˋ)੭* ੈ✩‧˚

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR READING! - Z

[stupidlittlespirit]

Ahh so I’m the same Anon that sent the College!Ford sarcastic praise ask!!! I’m so glad you liked my little blurb, I absolutely loved Freaks and was high-key thinking about it when I came up with that praise idea! I absolutely love how you write Ford, and I’m honestly so hyped for any of your other writing projects! Very excited for the cabin one 💓

I’ve also got another praise suggestion! (If your still open to receiving them that is 🙈)

Ok this premises a little wild, but hear me out. Reader and Ford accidentally swap bodies (probably from the Carpet Diem carpet) and since this would be a post-portal/post-Weirdmageddon!Ford, seeing his body being controlled by someone else just, initially brings back bad memories. Reader who only has limited knowledge about what Ford experienced with Bill, takes this as an opportunity to show Ford’s body kindness.

Reader would just dote over Ford, admiring themselves as him and reassuring Ford that they would never harm his body, they care too much about him to ever consider doing that.

As Reader showers Ford with praise, they note how strong he is as a person, (because Reader can literally feel all of Ford’s aches and pains he accumulated over the years.) Reader goes on about how Ford’s body is truly a marvel, hands absolutely included (I can see Reader getting very deep and passionate about genes and the human body, and just how amazing Ford’s hands are; how its rare for someone to be born with fully functional polydactyly, on both hands no less!)

And Ford (in Readers body) is just…at a loss for words? Ford is just so unfamiliar with receiving earnest, soft appreciation he doesn’t know how to respond or act in this situation, it’s admittedly, a little odd for him to see himself…love himself? Ford is just so use to either being fairly dismissive of his own body, or feeling shame over his hands. So him hearing someone truly love and respect those things about him?! Has Ford absolutely floored

lol idk if this premise is…a little weird? But I thought it could be a cute supernatural trust activity?!? lol

OH ANON now this is cinema!

Don't ever apologise for getting weird with it, that's what I'm all about. The weirder the better!

This is so fucking cute and unique.

Under the cut as always:

I think the idea that Ford has chronic pain fits this really nicely too because yeah, imagine swapping bodies with this guy and being like '....damn bitch, you live like this?' I have it myself and I know that shit sucks.

The moment you swap you're initially just left reeling by the immediate physical sensations: how absolutely starving he is, how exhausted and low-energy he is. He's sore and tender in spots you've never even considered before and there's not even any indication for the cause of the pain, either. It's almost phantom in nature. And when you bring it up, Ford is very much like "yeah but hey, that's old age, right? Totally normal! Painkillers are for the weak!" and Reader is just flabbergasted by it.

Ford being utterly overbearing as he watches you pilot him around, telling you what to do with his body and getting frustrated with the fact that you're not treating him the way he does himself because he's right about everything, it's always been that way and he's functioning just fine, thank you very much.

I can see Reader righting all the wrongs regardless of Ford's insistence that he's fine, too, no matter how pissy he gets about it. Like no, we're gonna sit your ass down and eat this meal, we're going to take an hour long bath and get the dirt out from under your nails.

The concept that he's so afraid you'll deface and abuse his body like Bill did without even realising he's been doing the same thing to himself for years.

And yeah, Reader complimenting all of Ford's being in a way that's much deeper than god you're fucking hot. The way he looks, his scars and his tattoos, his perfectly average physique, all of it. I think his hands would take some getting used to as well. Having six fingers when you're only used to five would probably be kind of hard to work with at first? Forgetting to give yourself enough space to move them when reaching for something or being a little clumsy when handling stuff. But that doesn't mean they're not marvels in and of themselves, and Reader would be just absolutely taken with them.

Ahhhh you're onto something here anon....

and imagine Ford experiencing arousal in the Reader's body in reaction to the praise and care he's receiving, being fascinated by the difference in sensation. The need he'd have to examine that only to find that- oh hang on, that's really quite nice and actually would you mind fucking him? He's always wondered what it would feel like, hasn't every man?

I could also not resist a 2002 Scooby Doo, Fred Jones-esque 'I can look at myself naked' moment

[hogans-heroes]

Idk how I forgot to tell y’all this but I got to see the MOTA guys on one of their press tour stops at the 92NY in New York and got to watch the first episode in the theater which was INSANE (Hearing the guns and flack so loud it crushes your bones was sobering and really made you feel like they did). Anyway, thoughts:

That really is Austin Butler’s real voice and I was not expecting that

He and Callum Turner were seated next to each other and were always talking to/at each other when answering questions like you see them do in interviews

Callum is HUGE. Way taller than he looks on screen. I was not familiar with any of them before this and was smitten with him the most right away. Was not expecting the hood London accent and I LOVE IT (since John Boyega is my other fav I must have a thing for that specific region)

The theater was mostly full of screaming girls, no surprise there. The guys were all great at engaging the crowd and talking to individuals

Anthony Boyle exudes so much Gentleman Energy, like idk how to describe it. He was also the best at improv and working the crowd it was great

Barry Keoghan is Chaos Personified and instigated most of the banter and jokes. Was always touching Callum.

Nate Mann is just adorable. And so earnest about Rosenthal he really put his all into the role.

Massive amounts of nonverbal communication and inside jokes. These guys obvs spent a ton of time together

All in all it was super fun and I can’t believe I got to see them, even if it was from a distance in the balcony XD

[goodluckclove]

I have a theory that being angry and complaining online is the default for most because it's inherently scarier to be earnest and vulnerable. So I invite whoever reads this to reblog and tell me about something you love un-ironically that doesn't make you look more intelligent or conventionally hip.

The rules are if I see anyone giving each other shit over a thing someone likes I'm going to send them an ask that's just a picture of wet, sad cat with zero context. Same if someone claims that they like to complain and it's their god-given right to do it as often as they like and wherever they want. Of course you do. It is not interesting to defend your right to talk about all the small things you hate when no one is really challenging them in the first place. You can complain forever until you die and that's totally fine.

Anyways I'll start.

I love Jimmy Buffett.

It's not because his music is so bad I think it's amusing. I actually think his music is really good. If he was still alive I'd absolutely spend money on a Jimmy Buffett concert because that sounds like a super fun time.

Fruitcakes is a fucking banger. Breathe In, Breathe Out, Move On is only one of his many songs that give big Good Dad energy when shit is rough. People mostly only know him for Cheeseburger in Paradise - but honestly? That rocks too. Sometimes I also want a cheeseburger.

People try to give me shit because he sold his likeness to the Margaritaville restaurants and hotels. I'm not even upset about this. The man struggled to be financially stable enough to play music in the beginning of his career, and sold his name to get money to make music and play concerts. He did a good handful of charity shows. He delivered tents to Haiti after the earthquake. He's not like known for philanthropy, but the vibe I get from him is that he's a pretty good guy who just wanted to make music and hang out with his loved ones.

He was literally in the middle of finishing an album when he died last year. He just made music as often as he could right up until it was his turn to go. His last words, according to one of his daughters, were have fun.

You can tell me you don't like his music, but you can't listen and tell me you don't think he'd be a fucking chill hang when the only real answer I got from searching "Jimmy Buffett controversy" is that he got caught with a bunch of ecstacy in '06 and paid a fine before being released. I don't even do ecstacy but holy shit my one exception would be trying it with Jimmy Buffett can you imagine??

Anyways. Your turn, friends.

[kewpie-aisle]

𝕔𝕙𝕒𝕣𝕥𝕚𝕟𝕘 𝕟𝕖𝕨 𝕨𝕒𝕥𝕖𝕣𝕤

pairing: Bokuto Koutarou x gn!reader

notes: suggestive language, mental stripping, general horniness, yoga poses, workout talk, minors do NOT interact pls

wc: 1.5 words

AN: I saw this artwork by @akiisks and every neuron in my brain said, Bo had to be the next installment in the series. Mm mm mm I love ONE owl themed gym bro. banners by @cafekitsune my hero you like what you see series other parts: Atsumu

The gym in the early morning hours was always quiet and peaceful. Majority of the MSBY players preferred evening or late night workouts, considering it a cool down for the day. The early morning hours introduced a peace and lull that was necessary for those that start the day with energy to expend. Calming overactive minds and bodies, both gifts held by the outside hitter of the team. 

Bokuto needed the cool down early in the morning, to ease down his energy levels to a “normal person”. That’s what Akaashi has always put in his head since they were younger, unsure what it means but the morning workout is now a routine for the man. As he got older it became an anchor to familiar times which helped him navigate unknown feelings and obstacles; riding through any crashing wave in peace. That peace has recently been shaken up.

Pulling out his headphones, he reaches for the gym door, coming to a halt when the sounds of the room touch his ears. There’s someone else in the gym already. He checks his watch to see it’s 4:30 am. Frustration is what he should feel, with a disturbance in his routine, but he could feel anticipation flush across his face and tickle the tips of his ears with heat. It’s not just someone in there, he had high expectations on who beat him to the gym. With a heavy pull, the door swings wide open and his eyes scan the floor, easily finding the source of the noise. Lo and behold, there you were. 

The new MSBY athletic trainer, who had joined a month ago. Clad in fitted black workout gear, long sleeves compression shirt and shorts covering each dip and curve of muscle and skin. Edge of the shorts seamlessly meeting the start of skin down your thighs and shins, glistening in sweat. Bokuto gulped down a lump in his throat, slammed by waves of uncertainty uprooting his anchored mind. 

With your headphones on, canceling out all noise in the room, you had missed Bokuto entering. You woke up that morning with more energy than usual. Chalking it up to new hire jitters, but that’s not what it was. Surrounded by players with large egos wasn’t new to you, it came with the territory of being an athletic trainer. Hell, even if you’d stayed in personal training, there’s no escaping the egos of gym bros. Everyone lifts more, knows more, trains better than you. With a smaller stature than most, you’d gone your whole life always being underestimated. Working out had always been a safe relief for pent up frustration and anger, letting you maintain a calm for the rest of the day. A godsent gift in your chosen profession. The MSBY Black Jackals’ team reputation was known far and wide in the industry. The most polite and friendliest team, hungry for growth. The “Eternal Rookies”, a moniker agreed upon by journalists and teammates alike in the volleyball world. It had been just the right move for you, but your professionalism had been shaken up from Day 1, when you met the rising star outside hitter, Bokuto Koutaro. 

Most guys that looked like that were always wolves in sheep’s clothing, regardless of team reputation. But Bokuto had surprised you in every area, clumsy yet straightforward and honest. Earnest in practice and a trusted leader during games. Strong and smart but humble and kind. And agonizingly good looking. Work days became an every day battle to not ogle the man every second he was in your sight. Coming to the gym in the morning was your refresher, a clean way to start the day to ensure you're energized throughout. But it seems Bokuto also frequented the morning time, so you had been adjusting to come earlier and earlier to try and avoid him. Waking up at 3 am from a particularly delicious dream, was enough reason to head straight to the gym to clear your head. Taking a quick break you glance up to the mirror to ensure proper stance, eyes widening seeing the very devil from your dream getting off the treadmill and preparing for his routine. Head down, completing incline chest rows, your entire backside on display for Bokuto. He had finished his cardio and started his lat exercises, fortunately unfortunately the machine was positioned to maintain the weights area in direct line of sight. He had wanted to power through his routine, crushing on the trainer was a childish distraction and completely unprofessional. Having childlike fun is one thing, but entering frustrated territory was completely unlike him. The heat that sat in his core, rising up, coating his entire torso in a voracious fire with desire he’d never felt before. He hated it. He’s always been in control of all his emotions and desires, but you shook every semblance of proper thought from his head. Failing miserably at keeping a focused mind, he dove into the siren’s song and watched you closely throughout his workout. Wiping down machines, adjusting weights, huffing through his sets, but eyes trained on your body throughout it all. He had watched you wrap up and make your way to the yoga mats for cool down stretches. 

With only a nod of acknowledgement, the two of you hadn’t exchanged any words in the past couple hours of working out. Maintaining distance in balanced routines for the day, a dance playing out in the gym. But the tension was palpable, suffocating in the already stuffy gym air. You watched a bead of sweat drip down his chin into the crevices of his pecs. Wondering if it had traveled down his abs and through the defined v-line you could glimpse every time he raised his arms. You licked your lips in hope for a taste, even if in your imagination. The craving for a taste increased, because you had felt his eyes on you the entire time. Watching every movement, eyeing you from top to bottom and back. You could feel the ghost of his hands running over your body. Leaving behind a tantalizing trail of heat everywhere, yet not placing a single finger on you. As you leaned down into downward dog, Bokuto had stopped to take a water break, eyes washing over your body in haste. A smirk playing on your lips as you feel yourself fall over the edge of your self control. “Bokuto-san, could you help me stretch out my back?” 

The last gulp of water catches in his throat, coughing as he averts his eyes. Finally breathing air back into his lungs he turns his attention to the voice calling for him. Headphones now out, he hears you repeat your question, as if it hadn’t been bouncing around the walls of his mind already. His throat somehow dry despite finishing off his entire bottle, he makes his way over. Watching as you adjust yourself into pigeon pose, left leg fully stretched out and right leg folded out and tucked in. Opening up your hips to stretch, you motioned him to push down on your back. Palms on your back he leaned down on you, folding you completely over, without any resistance. Your chest flush against the mat and arms spread out forward. With a slight push up off you, he stands up to watch over your form. Drinking in the ease of your stretch, mind running with other ways he could be folding you to take him in completely. A jolt running right to his core when he meets your eyes to see a flush on your face, still pressed against the mat as you watch him. 

“Ya like what you see Bokuto-san?” The words slipped out of your mouth before you could stop yourself. The heat of the room, the thrum of your heart in your ears, blood rushing to multiple places at once, has all your senses on high after your workout. Bokuto’s weight against you had set your entire back on fire, engulfing you completely and you ached to feel him over you again. “My form, it looks ok?” You tease as a flush comes across his face. With a lick of your lips, you roll over, legs spread open wide. “Can you help stretch out my front too...I can fold into another position if you’d like?”  The question crashed over Bokuto, anchor ripped out of the ground, untethered and washing away into the depths of the ocean. He closed the distance in a few short steps before pulling you up into him, lips against his in an instant. Tasting you finally, feeling you with his hands, swallowing you completely. His parched throat slowly soothed as he drank you in, the way he needed.

Relentless moans falling out of your lips, echoing in his mind. He looks down at you ruined, but you reach your hands out to wrap around him to bring him closer for more. He closes his eyes to fall right in, a new anchor rooted in your waves pulling him as close to you as possible.

[alltimefail]

Happy Day 6 of Cast Appreciation Week to Lukas Gage, Joshua Colley, and Gabriel Drake!

I am once again fashionably late lol, but we're still pushing forward! None of these guys are on Tumblr (to our knowledge haha), but I’m singing their praises everywhere today!

Our perfect Cat King, Monty, and Simon… we love you boys so much! 💜💀🔎

Transcript of my letters below the cut!

LETTER 1:

Happy Cast Appreciation Week! October 25, 2024

Dearest Lukas,

You poofed on screen in your little throne and I yelled at my TV, “YESSS BITCH!” very loudly. That sentiment toward The Cat King pretty much persisted every time you appeared, just so you know!

You are an enthralling, incredible actor. Your gestures, your delivery, your expressions, the way you played off of George’s Edwin so, so well... it was simply genius. I would believe you were half-cat if you told us that in earnest because The Cat King’s mannerisms were spot on. You masterfully walked the fine line of a character that’s as incredibly charming and alluring as he is wicked and dangerous, which is no easy feat. Some of the most divine characters in fantasy are the “Chaotic Neutrals,” the tricksters, the ones who do what they want, when they want, and will go to any lengths as a means to achieve their ends because the audience never knows which version of them they’ll get next. I felt like every time we saw you on screen, we learned something new about your character, no matter how brief the time was.

I never wanted Edwin with The Cat King, yet I found their chemistry to be electric. I could not imagine anyone else playing the role, and I don’t know if I’ll ever view a “Shifter” entity with the same kind of delight I view The Cat King, and I know that’s largely due to your unbelievable performance.

You are our Cat King, always and forever, and we will all be here to support you (and fight for you) in all your current and future endeavors.

All my love, Veronica “V” @ atfsims1

——————————————————

LETTER 2:

Happy Cast Appreciation Week! October 25, 2024

Dearest Joshua,

When an actor can take a character I would normally not love and somehow charm the heck out of me, that’s when I’m really impressed... and you did that with Monty!

You radiate such a fun, warm, inviting energy; that part of you found its way into Monty and, somehow, into my heart. I joke that I’m a Charles-adjacent spirit, so much like Charles I was averse to Monty at first, but I was shocked to find myself starting to see him as a little possible extension of the group and hoping he would stick around and shake Esther’s influence! I blame you, really, (a compliment, lol) because you’re so darn talented and you made Monty glow on screen. He was complex and naiv, innocent and whimsical, and you captured his essence and “Born Yesterday” sparkling outlook on the world with expertise.

I didn’t even want him and Edwin together and I pouted, full-on pouted, and said, “Awww, poor Monty... we’ve all been there babe” when Edwin told him he didn’t reciprocate his feelings! I can’t say enough about how impressed I was with you, truly. Monty is a quintessential part of the narrative in my opinion, and I could not imagine anyone else playing him.

You are our Monty, always and forever, and we will all be here to support you (and fight for you) in all your current and future endeavors.

All my love, Veronica “V” @ atfsims1

——————————————————

LETTER 3:

Happy Cast Appreciation Week! October 25, 2024

Dearest Gabriel,

First off, you played your role so well that Simon, despite his flaws, became one of the characters that fascinated me the most. Seriously!

I wanted to see more of him, to see more of his and Edwin’s past dynamic, and to understand how he got to the point he did in life. When I’m watching the show back, I can’t help but wonder if Edwin might have told Charles about Simon, or about their brief passing in Hell, and what Charles would have thought about their conversation. While Simon’s actions angered me and were objectively abhorrent, I still felt immense sympathy for him, and during his scene with Edwin in Hell, I wept for them both. I was moved by your portrayal of his complexities, and although our time with you was brief, it made a lasting impact.

The scene you and George had together in Hell is perhaps one of the most provocative conversations between two canon queer characters on screen. When I think of the impact Dead Boy Detectives has had on the LGBTQ+ community, your scene is one of the first ones I think about, and Simon’s self-hatred is a tragedy all too common amongst our own. Seeing it play out was heartbreaking, but necessary. You did a phenomenal job.

You are our Simon, always and forever, and we will all be here to support you (and fight for you) in all your current and future endeavors.

All my love, Veronica “V” @ atfsims1

[weirdfreakshow]

what if gem and pearl get caught? gem doesn't exactly pull them somewhere completely private. it's just private ENOUGH. somewhere they probably won't get seen. so. if someone walked up... found gem alone with pearl, pearl near tears, gems hand up her shirt. playing with her nipples, teasing them to perky little points, and Pearl's already so wet. she's not fighting either because it isn't rape right? gem loves her, keeps telling her she loves her... and then skizz walks up. skizz walks up and gem has her hands up her shirt and pearl isn't fighting so this can't be rape.

and when he speaks pearl wants to break down in tears.

"Oh! I didn't know you guys were like that!"

"Yeah, Pearlie's been a bit too scared to tell everyone. Isn't that right?" and pearl wants to argue but gems pulled her against her and she's got her hand on her waistband and Pearl's already so wet when her fingers dip under it that she wants to scream. she's disgusted with herself but she's so turned on that when gems fingers stop she feels broken. she knows she can't get off on her own anymore, she can only think of gem when she does, and gem is right there ready to touch her but so is skizz and. and.

she nods. it's what gem wants because her hands dip into her shorts finally as a reward and then her fingers find her clit, press firmly against it through her panties, and she bucks against her hand. all while skizz is there and he can see it all, but Pearl can only whimper. she wants gem to stop but she's terrified of her stopping and oh she's a mess. she's soaked and gem starts rubbing her clit through her panties, hums against her neck, and Pearl's legs shake. skizz wouldn't believe her that she doesn't want this after this. no one will.

"Oh, well, I can tell everyone for you if you want. I didn't realize Pearl was gay."

she's not and her mouth opens automatically to correct him, words on her lips, but they die in her throat as gem bites her neck and she instead moans. skizz raises an eyebrow, but pearl can't beg him for help when gem has her fingers against her like that and teeth on her and she's definitely biting hard enough to bruise, something she doesn't normally do.

then the pressure releases at the same second her panties are pushed to the side and gem starts rubbing her clit in earnest. she nearly collapses but gems holding her up.

"Would you really? Even just telling everyone you me leaving hickeys on her neck would be great... I can handle the rest from there." and the conversation becomes a buzz as the fingers work her and gem takes the time to leave hickeys and bite marks all over her neck. she wants to beg and plead for it to stop but she's so turned on it hurts and skizz is watching as gem rubs her clit, marks her up, leaves her legs shaking and her head fuzzy and dull.

and she cums in front of him. she sobs, whimpers as her orgasm builds, until it's finally too much and she cums against gems fingers working her clit while skizz is watching and isn't helping. she can't even beg for him to stop gem because she wants it. and she hates she wants it. she needs it, can't do it on her own anymore, and gem has to know because she talks about how pent up pearl gets as she rides her fingers for them both to see. talks about how pearl only cums for her anymore and she sobs because gem doesn't even stop once it becomes too much.

she keeps rubbing her, let's skizz see her jerking as she's pushed from one orgasm to the next, chest heaving. sobbing as gem leaves another bite mark on her and skizz says something about mentioning it in the next meeting right as gem shifts her hand to push two fingers into her and rub her clit with her thumb so pearl can't protest. can only moan and sob and be gems pathetic little play thing for skizz to see as gem pushes her body and tells him she's not straight and pearl doesn't even have the energy to argue because she's cumming again and skizz can see it. can see she isn't fighting gem, isn't pushing her away, isn't arguing.

and gem promises she can make Pearl put on a show at the meeting. she sobs at the idea, at the idea of everyone seeing her being raped and doing nothing, but skizz must take it as a good sign, because he chuckles. he chuckles and she hates his laugh as much as she hates her body being turned on by the idea.

he promises to bring it up and he leaves and gem still has her fingers inside her. tells her she's a good girl, tells her she did so good. so good for gem. she came so hard for skizz to see and she didn't fight it or argue or tell any lies. she did so good and soon every hermit can see the truth about pearl and isn't that great? doesn't pearl want everyone to know she isn't straight and she's with gem? she's been with her for months now, after all, it's time they stop hiding. she loves her so much and she doesn't want to keep hiding pearl away like this, soon everyone will know. everyone will know and they can put on a show and pearl can stop lying to everyone about being straight. it'll be great!

HOOOOOLY SHIT this is an absolute beast! I don't even know what to respond to this because it's just so good !!!!!

[invisiblegarters]

(Absolutely not) Micro BL and GL Reviews

I spent the last couple of weeks being ill in bed with very little energy. Not great, but also it meant that my limited ability to get up and move around much gave me endless time to catch up on a bunch of shows that I'd let fall by the wayside (or never even started in the first place), and now I have thoughts to share!

Joy? Joy! Welcome to yet another set of my talks about shows that is supposed to be small but never actually is.

Completed

Wandee Goodday: This wound up being way sweeter than I expected from the promo material, but I'm not complaining. I genuinely love shows where most of the people are just trying to get alone while being decent, and that was certainly the vibe here. I was happy with the sex positivity and the introduction of Kao being ace, although I will admit that I felt like it was a little too "let me educate you" about that bit at certain points. That said, it's a topic that maybe needs that kind of thing in this context? I also really really loved that Dr. Dee and Yak got it together and spent a bunch of episodes just being adorable and dealing with struggles that had nothing to do with their relationship. It's so refreshing to see adults being in an adult relationship and actually acting like it. There were several times when the show could have just manufactured drama for drama's sake and chose not to and I really respect and love that. It was also fun to see Title appear in a role that wasn't to cause problems. And Char and Yei were fucking adorable my god. 8/10

We Are: Way better than I expected, if I'm honest. It got a little draggy for me at the end, but Pond and Phuwin always give solid chemistry and I finally got to see what everyone likes so much about Winny and Satang paired together. I never watched MSP and I never will because it's just a little too young for me, but Toey and Q were fucking cute so I get it now, guys. I especially adored Toey - Satang plays endearing brat very well. I also really liked Tan and Fang - their teasing dynamic worked for me. Also Boom is so pretty my goodness. I do think that it was trying to juggle too many couples but as I already said it dragged a little for me at the end so I think they could have done it with better pacing. It seems to me that New has a thing for dramas driven by internal conflicts, and that was We Are all over. The plot advanced as the characters did, which I can understand might be frustrating but I find that if I'm in the right mood I eat it right up. Especially ones like this, with mostly sweet people just living their lives and trying to do right by themselves and each other. Cute, earnest, a really good friend group. It probably won't be something that I revisit much or that sticks in my mind for a long time, but I had a good time. Giving it a 7/10, mostly for the pacing stuff I already mentioned. It kinda lost me towards the end.

My Marvelous Dream is You: idolfactory's second GL and I think I wanted to like it more than I wound up liking it. The chemistry was good and I love the cast (even if I think my girl Silvy was way underutilized), but the plot was a little...not great. I'm still not entirely sure what it was going for, or why the shared dreams were important. I really liked Ae (Kim's mom). And Wan was my favorite. Girl was messy and brash but my kind of messy and brash if I'm honest, and I cheered aloud when she went off on Mawin's family. They were awful. Awful, too, was Mawin in the end. I get being hurt but I always get a little (a lot) irritated when people mess with someone's livelihood out of pettiness, so him fucking with Kim's business because she broke up with him (and yes, in a really shitty way but also lbr here he knew she wasn't into him in some ways he did that to himself) was never gonna do anything but piss me off. It does amuse me that Heng has now played 2 dudes in idolfactory GLs who very nearly marry one of our heroines when she really really doesn't want him and he's very aware, though. I find myself wondering if he's gonna go for the third in The Loyal Pin (I hope he does). 7/10

Love Sea: I loved this one. I knew I would. The premise had me from moment one, lol. And frankly, Fort and Peat deliver on chemistry so it was kind of a no brainer for me. I knew that Trongrak was gonna wind up being really messy the second love came into the picture, and I was absolutely right. I love how he was perfectly fine with Mahasamut holding him and defending him against his shitty dad and following him around and getting all jealous when he implies he's going out to fuck other people (and whether or not he'd have done it is up for debate - I think he would have forced himself to try and failed miserably because that's my favorite lol) and take care of his niece like family, etc...but the second the word "love" actually makes its way out of the dude's mouth he can't handle it. My only quibbles were Prin - why was she so awful for no reason, MAME? The dad - he was not an effective villain to me. I wish that he'd been a little more menacing but I guess it works that he just let Tongrak think that he'd done a lot of things that he hadn't, and I do like that he was basically squeezing money out of both Tongrak and his mom just by showing up on occasion and assuming that they wouldn't talk to each other (which they weren't, both trying too hard to protect their family from his sliminess). I also like that it was finding that out that made both of them snap out of it. And last but not least - what the FUCK, MAME. How dare you give me that lesbian side couple and make it SO COMPELLING and actually get me invested than then not actually offer a resolution because oops, we're on episode 10 now and it's time for the love issue between Tongrak and Mahasamut to rear its head? How very very DARE you. Genuinely this made me the angriest and dropped my personal enjoyment a lot. I haven't seen the special yet so maybe that gets addressed (it SHOULD I was INVESTED), but while I would probably have given it a 9 (I really liked it a lot okay) I am dropping it to a 8/10 for that. Tempted to drop it to a 7 because I am petty.

This Love Doesn't Have Long Beans: Another one I really liked! The chemistry between Sailub and Pon is absolutely scorching and while I have noticed that actors are getting a lot better about it in general, I always take notice when they are so entirely comfortable with not just the steamier scenes but the emotionally intimate ones as well. I love when I am watching a show and I can believe that the characters want each other and like each other, and not like a part of them isn't flinching at the very idea of it (unless that's the character, but just go with me when I say that there's just a very specific vibe you get when one (or both) of the actors isn't comfortable and I think it actually happens more with the sweet, couply stuff than it does the steamy stuff. But I digress). Chemistry like that can help me forgive quite a bit.

I liked how obnoxious Wan was in the beginning - I did not expect that and it was annoying but also kind of delightful. He grew on me despite my initial annoyance. Oab was a little different - he annoyed me right out of the gate by not calling Kao Suay and telling her about her dad. I get the respect thing, I do, but also what if he died and she was abroad, none the wiser? How would everyone have felt then? Keeping it from her was NUTS, and I don't even care that Kluer called her and told her for nefarious reasons. Someone had to. Oab's wishy washiness with her when she came back annoyed me too - a personal failing of mine has always been that I don't have time for that kind of waffling. I just wanted him to make a choice and stick with it (and was doubly annoyed as it became clearer and clearer what his choice was and he still couldn't just say it). Thank goodness he had Nubnueng there to gently prod him into finally doing the thing.

I wish Kluer's turn to villainy had been more evil, but I guess that wouldn't have made sense for this show, since no one really was, not even Enemy No. 1 Methas. Speaking of which, I wanted to like him and JJ more than I did in the end. I did like them, but I guess I just wanted more development there than I got in the end. They were cute though JJ was hands down my favorite character. I understood Methas so much. I also really enjoyed his relationship with Wan.

One thing that I thought was utterly hilarious was Oab's pettiness. As a petty person myself I can't help but find opening a new restaurant to steal all of your ex's customers because he wouldn't just apologize for, you know, deceiving you for most of your relationship and initially planning to sell your restaurant to the one man in the world you emphatically never wanted to own it absolutely hilarious. No notes Oab you keep rocking on. 8/10

Currently Watching

The Loyal Pin: Everything in this show is so damn pretty it's hard for me to think about much else. Especially Freen, and it seems like all the show wants to do is remind us of her beauty at every moment. Which, well. I am not complaining the woman makes my breath catch.

But this week I finally started paying a bit of attention to something more than oooh pretty, and I am genuinely wondering if this show isn't going to be all pretty dresses and gorgeous women falling in love and carving mangoes and if maybe there aren't some extremely serious things swimming in the waters.

Watching Anin wield her power this week hit me way way harder than all the ways that she'd been doing it before, and in a way that made me think a lot harder about how she'd done it before as well. I think it's because usually she sticks to manipulation to get what she wants - she's charming, she smiles, she talks people around - but last ep she dropped all pretense a couple of times, and we watched it cut more than once. Anin is a woman who knows exactly what she wants and she has the means to get it, she is spoiled and she will do whatever it takes. Other people have talked about it better, but I will say I am absolutely fascinated, and am genuinely curious to see if this is going to be addressed or if it's just the way it is. I also want to see if there's something that will butt up against Anin's frankly terrifying amount of power. Something she can't either manipulate or brute force her way through (although in the end I bet she manages to do one or the other anyway).

Also, kisses. Teach Pin more things Anin! She's a good student.

The Trainee: This show was not really on my radar at all, and I'm genuinely not sure why I decided to pick it up. Maybe because I was finishing up another GMMTV show and it was next in the youtube queue?

Whatever the reason, I'm so glad I did because I fucking LOVE this show. it's my favorite thing airing right now and that I never would have expected or believed.

It really is so good though. I think for me it's that it feels realistic - maybe in a way that can be uncomfortable for some but I love it. No one here is perfect, it's not just the mentors constantly schooling the kids because even though they are older, they are still growing too, and still have things to learn. Especially when it comes to Jane, who is my favorite character in the show I think and is hands down the best Off character I have personally seen. I am so iffy with Off normally that my adoration for Jane is confusing me, but he's so good. He's an adult and he handles most of his problems like an adult (which frankly I think is sometimes missing from these shows), but still has moments where he fumbles because he's still human. And I like that when he does fumble, he apologizes. I'm also really in to the whole deal that happens in the workplace where people think he's a certain way and judge him for it, but he's really just...dedicated. Strict, yes, but not entirely uncompromising. I dunno he's just a great character.

I also really like how this feels like an ensemble show with the romance not at the forefront. I don't always want that but this is so well done that I'm happy for it. I like that we have gotten to showcase each intern, their struggles and their achievements and just...growing up and learning to handle that scary point in life where you're really starting to enter the adult sphere, with all it's responsibilities, but still not ones that are entirely on your shoulders. If you do things the more traditional way, that is - I know a lot of us were in that world well before college. Still, it does resonate with me.

I am also enjoying the insight we're getting into the background of production. Such as how much work and effort goes into even the smallest change in filming even something that seems as simple and straightforward as an ad. Imagine how hard it would be to reshoot scenes from something like a TV show, especially considering the stuff like location, OT, cast and crew...I had already guessed a lot of it, but it's always nice to be proven correct. I like being right, what can I say? And the Ryan's awkwardly trying to draw people out without directly asking them how they are After Work Corner is very charming. I like that it gives insight into the business but also Ryan, who I do sometimes feel is the weakest of the interns. Which is insane because he's played by Gun Atthaphan, but there you go. I did like that he was brave enough to ask Jane about his feelings last ep, and I'm looking forward to seeing him more in his element (or at least what he's used to) next ep.

I really hope this show continues to impress.

1000 Stars - This is a rewatch for me as I roped a friend into watching for the first time. I warm up to this one more each time I watch it. The first time I was annoyed with Phupha's everything but I feel like I get him more and more as I go on. I also love a show that has heart (heh, this show has heart ror sure (and this is why we can't take me anywhere)) and this has a ton of it. It also amuses me whenever Phupha and Tian start doing their intense staring thing and there are other people around. I bet they're all just like "welp there they go again we've lost them, best go about our business" and leave them to it.

I also always forget Khaotung is in this one. Every time I watch I'm like "oh yeah" when he shows up. It's so funny to me.

Looking Forward To:

Peaceful Property (28 Aug) - Is it BL? Is it bromance? Who knows. Do I care? I...don't think so. Whatever the romance situation it looks like a ton of fun, and I am excited to see Tay back in glasses and to see this cast, especially doing comedy.

Kidnap (06 Sep) - This one also looks like fun. I love Ohm, Leng looks like he's doing a good job matching him, they seem to have good chemistry from the trailer. And pettily I'd watch this anyway because some of the shenanigans of certain fans have made me that annoyed. Good for me that it looks like something I'll like regardless, I guess.

Pluto (???) - GIMME GIMME GIMME GIMME. It has been 84 years I am DYING here. If it doesn't get released this year I might actually cry, but I am hoping that it will.

There are others I am looking forward to (honorable mentions if you will): My Golden Blood, The Heart Killers, ReVamp (still a stupid title), Friendshit Forever, Hide & Sis, Us - but all of these are either not filming yet or so early into their schedule that I'm not letting myself get too excited for them. And for The Heart Killers especially I don't want this to be an Only Friends situation where I got really hyped and then was inevitably kind of disappointed (at first - I shook it off and came back around eventually lol). I just wanna go in there and have a good time - I'm excited to see that entire cast do a romcom, I think it'll be fun, and that's about all I want to expect out of it. I'll get excited when we get an air date.

Also thinking of picking up 4Minutes since it's on Gaga now, apparently. And maybe trying to find My Stand In since it's over and I can inhale those deliciously toxic fumes all in one (or two) sitting(s). And maybe, just maybe, poke around for BL and GLs outside Thailand, lol. I feel like it's been all Thailand all year for me when I used to watch JBLs and KBLs too.

Any recs?

[incorrect-murderdrones]

ANDDD WE HAVE A QUOTE MASTERPOST! ALL QUOTES BELONG TOO: @the-island-of-quotes HAVE FUN AND FOLLOW THAT PERSON :D -Mod Kai

N: This is what Victor would look like if he was doctor Seuss.

Uzi: There's a socket in my pocket, maybe this will help me fix my sprocket.

Uzi: It's not a 5, or a 6, or a 10, I have seem to have lost all of those again.

Uzi: And when it comes to wrenches, it seems all of them have disappeared off my fucking work benches.

Uzi: So even though there is a socket in my pocket I can't even use it to fix my fucking sprocket

*Next day*

Uzi: Another tool another day, I dropped some more shit in this fucking engine bay.

Uzi: But it's okay because I bought this car to get from point A to point B.

Uzi: And after one week of ownership I'm kinda hoping this thing gets crushed by a fucking tree.

Uzi: I've wanted to sell this car since week one, but nobody wants to buy it when it has every problem under the sun.

Uzi: This car will just remain broken and collect some dust, and eventually this piece of shit will start collecting rust.

Uzi: But at this point I don't really care! I have the time, nor money or energy to try and repair.

Uzi: I'm just gonna say fuck this, and sell this shit on craigslist to some guy named Chris.

______________________________________________________________

V: I now proudly present, the life and times of earnest Hemingway in aproxamently 3 and a half minutes. GO! Born in Chicago in 1899, son of a physician and a musician, reasonably uneventful childhood, decided to study Journalism. Enlisted with the Red Cross during World War I, got BLOWN up in Milan and spent 6 months in hospital with severe shrapnel wounds in both legs. Fell in love with a nurse, they decided to get married. He came home to prepare, she stayed there and ditched him for an Italian soldier, which initiated a life long pattern of him rejecting women before they had a chance to reject him. Got a job as a foreign correspondent, fell in love with his roommates' sister, married her and moved to Paris. They hung out with Gertrude Stein. They kicked it with Pablo Picasso. He started writing in earnest, no pun intended. Moved to Toronto, had a kid, moved back to Paris, published a couple of books. Cheated on his wife, got divorced, married the other woman. Converted to Catholicism... Cut his head open after pulling on a cord thinking he was flushing a toilet and instead ripped a skylight from the roof and smashed it onto HIS FACE! Moved to Kansas City, had another kid, his dad committed suicide, he shot a lot of bears for some reason. Had a car accident, had another kid, went to Africa to kill some wild animals and got dysentery karma! Published another book, moved to Cuba, SHOT HIMSELF IN THE LEG WHILST AIMING AT A SHARK! Cheated on his wife, got divorced, married the other woman. Published "For Whom the Bell Tolls," sold half a million copies in a couple of months and got nominated for a Pulitzer Prize. Cheated on his wife, got divorced, married the other woman. Became the self appointed leader of a band of village Militia outside of Paris and was subsequently brought up on charges for contravening the Geneva Convention, and GOT AWAY WITH IT LIKE A FUCKING CHAMPION! Got pneumonia, moved back to Cuba and spent most of his spare time on his boat TRACKING NAZI U-BOATS WITH A MACHINE GUN AND A PILE OF HAND GRENADES I AM NOT MAKING THIS SHIT UP! Had a few more car accidents, three more concussions, got CLAWED WHILE PLAYING WITH A LION... Got depressed, drank. Got fat, published a couple more books, went back to Africa to shoot some more wild animals, and barely survived two separate plane crashes in the space of 24 hours, winding up with a fractured skull, internal bleeding, cracked spine, ruptured liver, first degree burns, and a paralyzed sphincter muscle karma! Won a Nobel Prize, had a file opened on him by J. Edgar Hoover, left a bunch of shit in a safe in Cuba and moved to Idaho, paranoid that the feds were following him WHICH THEY WERE BECAUSE HE SPENT MOST OF THE 1940S WORKING FOR THE KGB, AGAIN NOT MAKING THIS SHIT UP! Suffered from hepatitis, nephritis, hypertension, hemochromatosis, anemia and impotence, karma. Got committed, received way too much electroconvulsive therapy and came out all fucked up, started hinting at suicide so immediately got recommitted, received another couple of months worth of electroconvulsive therapy, got released, put both barrels of his favorite 12-gauge shotgun into his mouth and BLEW HIS FUCKING HEAD OFF! WHAT A GUY!

______________________________________________________________

N: Welcome to applebees! What'll it be? Apples or bees? Congrats, you get bees!!!

______________________________________________________________

Doll: Now that I've added the milk to the cereal tell me, is that milk now a beverage, a broth, or a sauce? Answer carefully Khan, you're wife's life depends on it!

______________________________________________________________

Uzi: If the conspiracies about life being a simulation are true whoever is controlling my Sim I JUST WANNA TALK!!

______________________________________________________________

N: Do you think god stays in heaven because he too fears what he's created? That's a quote from Spy Kids 2 have you ever seen it it's like peak cinema.

______________________________________________________________

Uzi: Who needs sleep when you run on equal parts NyQuil and Methamphetamine?

______________________________________________________________

V: Just remember Uzi people die when they are killed!

______________________________________________________________

V: Ha! You're pointless!

Doll: Thirty nine buried.

*Gunshot*

Doll: Zero found

______________________________________________________________

N: Which one of you was gonna tell me tea tastes different if you put in hot water?

Uzi: Y- you we're putting it in cold water???????

V: N. Answer the question N!

N: Yeah??? I thought for like five years people just put it in hot water to speed up the tea-ification process, didn't realize there was an actual reason.

J: You don't have the patience to microwave water for three minutes??

Doll: Why are you. Putting it in the microwave to boil it?

J: Do you think I have the patience to boil water on the stove?

Doll: It takes less than a minute!

J: Doll is your stove powered by the fucking sun!?

Doll: How long does it take to boil a cup of water on your stove?

J: LIKE SEVEN MINUTES!

Doll: Just stick the mug on top of the stove on medium heat and it boils in two minutes, less if you use a saucepan.

Lizzy: Crying your putting the whole mug on the stove??? On medium heat??? Your stove is enchanted!

Uzi: Every drone in this exoplanet is a fucking idiot.

Cyn: DO NONE OF YOU OWN A FUCKING KETTLE!?!?! REMEMBER TO FOLLOW: @the-island-of-quotes AS THEY OWN THESE QUOTES :D

[cadmium-free]

Day 6 of 26 with @neopetsdotcom

FRANKENHOOKER (1990)

Lauren's Review (from Letterboxd)

This is truly a movie you can’t think too hard about. At first glance, it seems at times to be trying to make some kind of point or express a point of view but like miss frankenhooker herself, it amounts to nothing more but bits and pieces of ideology cherry picked and stitched together for whatever the director thought was funniest for any particular scene. I truly do not believe there is a coherent deeper meaning or belief system to be found here. Its just pure fun for the sake of fun. I should be irritated by the laziness of bothering to include scenes that allude to political and social commentary but without the follow through of actually Saying anything. But fortunately everything about this movie, the oddly earnest protagonist, the cast of seedy 1990’s new york oddballs, the unbelivably fake prop bodies exploding into pieces, works. And I had too good of a time to be that bothered about it

Awl's Review (from Letterboxd)

"this reminds me of muriel's wedding" - my friend, ten minutes in

nothing about this movie should work, in fact it doesn't, and somehow this comes together to make something really fun to watch? it's hard to talk about the way drug addiction is a joke and sex workers are killed left and right for their body parts, and still go, and there is something fun here. especially when i'm on the record for really hating Brain Damage by the same director for its treatment of women and drugs. there is pattern!

regardless, i think this hits its camp satire well. nearly every woman cast is a playboy model or equivalent. there is something kind of gleeful about the way it places them explicitly as sex workers and then explodes them with fireworks. it ends up feeling like the actresses/models themselves had fun making this. and every man who is horny in this movie was so earnestly weird about it that it was kind of charming.

i think i'm being too serious about this film! in actuality, rare new jersey win! the protagonist is the most new jersey type of guy ever put to film and his north jersey energy just escalated with every scene. sure, he's trying to make the perfect woman, but he just loves his girlfriend. movie for the jersey boys!

the end of this movie rules, for all that it's fucked up. the whole thing is fucked up. if you got far enough into it for the end, well, yeah, of course it's like that.

[destructivisms]

Thank you for letting me submit a ship request!!!! 🩷💗💕

My name is Enna and I'm a bi girl with blue/pink/purple hair, blue eyes, freckles, and im covered in tattoos!!! I love reading and writing (like so much lol), I bake, swim and listen to all genres of music (and sing along horribly!). I'm in school studying to be an English teacher and I'd love to be a writer on the side. I'm really shy and quiet, I try to be as kind as possible, though I come off sarcastic/use sarcasm as flirting. I try to be as optimistic as possible too. I adore horror movies and carry at least two books with me wherever I go. I love horror and dystopians the most, but any genre can catch my eye! My three favorite books are The Handmaid's Tale, A Little Life, and The Book Thief, but I could name every book on my shelf lol!!! I could go on forever about my favorites. The beach is my happy place and I hope to move closer to the ocean after I graduate!! I love studying languages and am trying to learn as many as possible (I speak three and im studying two more). I live for poetry tho I am awful as writing it. I love Russian poetry especially and try to read it in it's original language, but my Russian still needs work. I'm a Ravenclaw and my intelligence is really important to me :) I love learning so much, I have such a great passion for it!!!

Thank you, thank you, thank you!!! 🩷💗💕

thank you so much for sending this!! fellow language enthusiast here, you seem super cool and i hope you enjoy the ship :)

I ship you with...

HUGHIE CAMPBELL!

ok incredibly biased because of the url but. hear me out. you guys are the cutest

You meet in the subway, as cliché as it sounds — you're taking the train to spend a sunny day in Rockaway Beach, and it's a long ride, so of course you're immersed in a good old book. You don't even notice the guy sitting across from you... Or how he's been throwing glances at you since he got in and saw you there.

As people come and go — and both of you are still there, it's a fairly long ride —, he's debating whether or not he should say something. Would he be intruding? Would it be friendly? Would it be weird? You seem so chill and unbothered, and he'd hate to piss you off by interrupting your reading, but he's just entranced by your entire vibe. You're so cool. You're sooo cool. Incredibly cute. The sun coming through the window shines a beam of light on your hair and he thinks he's gonna die. There's an energy, a lot of life to you, and that really draws him in.

As the train gets emptier, he ultimately decides on saying something — who knows when you're getting off the train and he loses his chance forever? And as much as he kept running lines in his head thinking what he'd ask, his brain just short-circuits and in classic Hughie fashion he goes with the first thought in his head: "Hey, that's a really good book."

Important: he had never heard of that book in his entire life

Still, it's enough to get your attention and a smile — what's the harm in earnest conversation? Of course, it's the New York subway, but he seems like a nice guy, you're not in a rush nor feeling uncomfortable, and you like to talk about your interests (it really is a really good book). He does confess he hadn't read it before the lie goes too far (knowing his habitual cover-ups, it could have gotten disastrous), but you two are so deep in such a good conversation you actually find it funny and sweet.

He gets off the train before you and thus the conversation is cut short, but you give him your number. It's a meet cute straight out of a movie and you make his day — I imagine you meet around early season 2, when they're in the hideout, and daily life is rough for The Boys. That conversation with you was a beam of light.

He texts you the day after, polite and casual with a joke in there — something along the lines of "Hey, I'm Hughie, the guy in the subway — if you didn't think I'm a lying idiot, would you be interested in grabbing coffee?"

He absolutely read this one text out loud and rewrote it several times to find the optimal way to not sound weird while asking you out

And that's the start of a series of texts and dates between you two

You two have so many deep conversations over text, stay up chatting about yourselves and your interests, send cute pictures of things that remind you of each other.

Hughie is the type of guy to wait for a message and either reply to it almost immediately or mentally put it off to not seem like he replied immediately. That, of course, when he sees the message, and is preferably not too busy with not dying.

He finds the many heart emojis incredibly endearing 💜 Not a big emoji guy, but adds smiley faces to the end of sentences :) and if you use WhatsApp he'd use A LOT of stickers. Corny hearts, cute animals, funny expressions, typical millennial memes, he saves them all.

Your contact goes from "Enna :)" to "Enna ❤️" as the relationship progresses

You talk mostly over text, because of your studies and his weird schedule with the coup's plans — and you don't really know what he does at that point —, so all of your dates are planned meets. You plan to meet at a coffee shop, you plan to spend the day at the beach, you plan to go to a record store. Everything scheduled (even though he's not the most on-time person, your dates are the very opposite of spontaneous). Hughie's very much a "by the book" type of guy when it comes to dating, he wants to do everything right and neat.

And so, after a month or two of going out, he officially asks you to be his girlfriend by giving you a copy of your favorite book with his annotations (he read it!).

See, Hughie is the typical guy who lost the reading habit because life happens, but meeting you motivated him to get back to reading. In the first dates he'd casually get a recommendation like it was small talk, until he mentioned a couple days later he was actually reading it. Never failed to make you melt.

He did not finish A Little Life though, didn't get through the first chapters without bawling his eyes out and feeling like shit and realized maybe he should skip that one.

You two share so much media — movies, books, music! He absolutely doesn't mind your singing, in fact he loves singing along to stuff with you. Expect so many car sing-alongs and playing music in the kitchen while you're cooking.

And I hope you like Billy Joel, because he will play it so much you'll inevitably know the lyrics. He'll warm up to your music too, but he's usually quicker than you to put on his playlist and you're not really complaining.

You try to show him horror movies but he bails after the first scare. He's already too horrified by the stuff happening in his life, he doesn't want to be horrified by the screen too. If you really, really insist, just this once, as a gift, for you, come on, he'll watch it on edge and stressed for the entire thing. Will hold onto you for dear life and scream out loud. "We had fun, right?" gf X "I've never been more stressed my entire life" bf.

He loves your hair so much — if you change it often, it becomes a thing for him to guess the next color before you go and dye it. He always comments on it, and has a personal ranking of his favorite Enna hair eras (like, seriously elaborated, which he could make a slide presentation on if prompted).

I do remember you mentioning you're very short so that's a funny add-on — this man is a giraffe, and now your personal crane. Will grab things on the top shelf for you all the time, especially books you want.

He's definitely the big spoon, and loves cuddling and hugging. Only in private though, like at home, he's kind of awkward with PDA. But he will hug you from behind when you're baking, wrap his arms over your shoulders, and oh I'm sorry I guess you have to stop whatever you're doing to give attention to your Big Friendly Giant of a boyfriend. No the brownies aren't burning.

The breakfast table is yap central. He grew up silently eating with his dad, not much happening there, but now he actively makes the choice to always ask you about random topics over breakfast or lunch. You're creating new traditions — the table around a meal is lively and a place for conversation, in which you feel safe to ramble about whatever topics you're interested in to each other.

You do explain to him about all the languages you're learning — Hughie's not particularly a language guy, but he's a passion guy and a you guy, so he becomes fascinated by your studies. You start sporadically bringing a book in another language to breakfast to read something aloud. He loves to hear the sound of your voice in any language.

It's interesting how much of a rambler he is, while at the same time keeping his life really private. Like, you know everything about every movie he's ever seen; he explains every record he likes that you might come across in a store; he'll talk about his passions and dreams and insecurities, talk about his dad and his problems with his mom... But you still don't know what the hell he does for work. Or any of his friends.

He does try to keep The Boys' work a secret for as long as possible; he feels awful for lying to you sometimes, being evasive, or giving vague answers, but he wants to protect you. So much. He wouldn't want to risk losing someone else he cared about; losing you. Your passion, kindness, optimism have saved him in so many bad days, in so many ways you didn't even know, and are so rare to maintain in the world he's in.

This light and energy that drew him to you is, in some way, the same thing that drew him to Robin (and, in the canon, Annie).

Secrets aren't kept forever, eventually he does tell you about the real nature of his work and the crew he surrounds himself with.

You don't really get involved in the work, you're not a part of THE BOYS, but you're Hughie's girl and they all know you. They have heard oh so much about you. Let's be honest they're nosy bitches — they'd be dying to know anything and everything about you from the moment Hughie offhandedly mentioned he had a date.

You guys were barely official and Frenchie said he wanted to be invited to the wedding

Hughie is the No. 1 supporter of your baked goods, and he starts bringing them to the office. They're all immediately hooked.

They tease him pretty much all the time — it's awww when you have a cute couple moment, crude jokes from Butcher (in good spirit, you respond with sarcasm and he respects you that way), a cacophony of noises and some "TELL HER I SAID HI" in the background of most phone calls —, but at the end of the day they're incredibly happy for you two. It's a breath of fresh air in their chaotic lifestyle that someone has something sweet in their life and a sense of normality. You're a beam of light. :)

[decepti-thots]

Tea emoji skybound?

Okay so I am behind at the moment and also, I want to do a full readthrough of the first year of the TF ongoing all in one go before the year is out and write an Actual Long Post, so I will not get too in the weeds here about specifics.

But I really, really like Skybound so far- the main TF comic at least. It is first and foremost just an astonishingly well crafted comic, from the art to the lettering to the writing. It works serially, it works visually, it works as a comic, in a way that is honestly not that common for many US comics right now. (I have been reading some Al Ewing stuff recently, his Marvel work, and I would compare Skybound's ability to make a serial narrative still feel satisfyingly complete in individual issues to the work Ewing did on stuff like Immortal Hulk. If that means anything to anyone.) Johnson knows his shit. He is writing COMICS, and his understanding of the medium is clear in every panel. (I cannot BELIEVE this is his first ongoing. Fucking hell.)

I also think it actually does something new with G1 reimaginings, which justifies yet another one of those existing. Sunbow is not, in the West anyway, a very widely mined part of the fiction for later stuff. Almost all the stuff we get tends to veer far, far closer to vaguely G1 Marvel influences. Johnson is taking those 'sounds good on paper, woefully underdeveloped in the cartoon because 80s Toy Ad' concepts and fleshing them out amazingly well. He goes completely seriously in on making that canon into a space opera that takes itself seriously, and he has enough earnestness that against all odds, it works. The earnestness is very important. It is not a comic going 'haha Isn't This Silly' at itself, which almost any writer trying to do this would do I think.

Oh, and it really makes the Cybertronian-Human dynamic compelling. If you want a work that shows why, exactly, the humans add something important to TF, I think Skybound is the comic that does that. It's got THEMES. It's got PATHOS. It's got CARLY, who I think is REALLY NEAT.

...I do not particularly care for Void Rivals, however. It is a very, very mid comic, though largely readable. It largely exists to me in terms of 'OK, it brought xyz lore concept in this month, good to know!' and not much more, alas. I don't hate Kirkman's work overall, but honestly. The comparison to Johnson almost feels unfair; there's just not that same wild creative ENERGY anywhere. It is a comic that exists to create splashpages in which you go. I Know That Guy! And I can't say I care much.

I have thus far not touched the GI Joe stuff. I should really do that, but. God. I'm just not that interested. LMAO.

Final thought: which is kind of ironic, because if I put this comic in conversation with any other TF work? It would be TF vs GI Joe (Scioli/Barber). It has that same deliberate engagement with the specific genre context the 80s stuff exists in, the sense of creating nostalgia for a version of the franchise that never actually existed, the granular love of and obsession with specifically comics that means so much of how the story is told really could not be in another medium and stay the same. Which is high praise, because I think TFvsGIJ is, in fact, the best TF comic ever written, hah.

[amessywritersmind]

501st hound chase

Request: Ok I had this idea pop in my head and laughed hard at this. BUT what if reader was the new dog trainer for the 501st dogs the really wired scaly lizard this are I can't remember what they are. The one dog she training for the 501st got into one of the jedis room like Anakin or Obi-Wan's and swallowed a jedi holocron and now they have like a big looney Toons chase after the dog running literally everywhere on a ship basically dodging everything and everyone both jedi clone trooper and reader until they finally just tuker out and find a place to sleep while everyone is tearing the place up looking for them.

"Heyyyyy! There's our favorite Hound Wrangler! How's it going? Who's this little guy you got with you?" I hear a voice call from the other end of the hall.

I look up to see Fives, Kix and Jesse heading straight my way.

"Fives! Jesse! Kix! I'm good! I'm just taking Kesi here for a walk around the ship before i'm off for the day. How are you?" I ask the group of clones, petting the Massiff affectionately.

Kesi, apparently really digging the love, rolls over showing off his belly for some more rubs. Of course, I comply, because who could deny that cute little face? Fives was thinking the same thing I was at that moment, bending down and joining in on the petting.

"We're doing ok, the mission is finally over, who can really complain." Kix says tiredly.

"You're not wrong there, finding this lost Holocron seems to have taken a toll on everyone, even Master Kenobi" Fives jokes with equal exhaustion.

"Apparently not everyone!" Jesse laughs as Kesi jumps up from his position, tail wagging in earnest.

"This guy has more energy than a band of starving Gundarks all the time, no matter what, hence the walk before bedtime" I explain with a smile, watching as Kesi begins to fidget more and more.

The massiff jumps up excitedly, tail wagging, as if to prove my point. Fives laughs.

"I can see that! Look at him, c'mere little guy..." Fives begins, causing Kesi to jump up more in excitement, someone finally wanted to play!

Before I could warn Fives against riling him up, Kesi leaped so hard he tugged his lead out of my hand and took off running down the hall.

"Oh no... Kes!" I shout, immediately chasing after him down the hall. I rounded the corner of the ship quickly, hoping he'd still be within the area, but alas I was not so fortunate. The hall was empty, Kesi was nowhere in sight.

I hurried back to the stunned (and partially guilty) group of clones in desperation.

"Please, you guys have to help me find him! Who knows what kind of trouble he'll get into..."I worry, pinching the bridge of my nose and brainstorming possible places the little beast might wander off to.

"Okay, I've got a plan. Everyone, switch to comm channel 3, we're gonna spread out around the ship. Jesse; you head to the hanger bay and the kitchens. Kix; you check MedBay and any supply storage areas with good smelling things in them. I'll check the clone barracks and the 'fresher room" Fives starts, pointing to each clone and assigning their duty.

"And you-" he states, turning towards me "can check the Kennels and the Generals quarters. If anyone finds any signs of Kesi, let the rest of us know with your comms. Ready boys? Let's go find that Massiff." Fives encourages. The boys give firm nods and we all head in our own direction.

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It didn't take long to find him- well, where he had been and where he was going at least. Not long at all. Infact, Kesi had left a trail to follow. The kennels were a fail, as I'd imagined they'd be, and so I began to walk towards the Generals Quarters, when I noticed a strange trail of what looked like, paper?

I followed the trail around the corner, down the hall, and right to Master Kenobi's door. This leads me to where I am now, still standing in front of Master Kenobi's door, along with Fives, Kix, Jesse, and now Anakin and the man himself, Obi Wan.

"I am so so so so sorry Master Kenobi! The little drat just got too excited and I couldn't hold on to his leash and-" I started blathering nervously as I stared at the remnants of what was once the box containing the infamous missing Jedi Holocron. When I say remnants, I really mean little tiny scraps of cardboard.

Obi-wan silenced me with a raise of his hand and a sigh, followed by Anakin's quiet laughter, at which Obi-wan was not amused. "Let's just spread out and find the little guy. He can't have gotten far, after all we are on a ship in the middle of space." he states, ever calm and ready with a plan.

"You'd be surprised General, sir. We've been searching for quite a while already now, and we've only managed to find his trail of destruction." Fives states, a giggle present in his tone.

"Well, now there are more of us! Anakin, have Rex notify the rest of the 501st and have every single person searching. I'll comm Cody and tell him to do the same. As soon as he is found, signal on the comms." Obi-wan states determinedly with a small clap as everyone breaks off in small search groups.

"Don't worry, we'll find him. And it's not like he can destroy the holocron. It'll all be alright, Obi-wan will forget it ever happened as soon as it's over!" Anakin says comfortingly, placing a hand on my shoulder. As much as that should have eased my worries, the statement left me with a strange feeling of dread.

I couldn't help thinking never say never as we parted ways to begin our own searches.

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Meanwhile...

Kesi had ran around for a good long while after swallowing that holocron, not quite satisfied with his cold meal. He searched all over the ship for something better, stealing a few bantha patties from the kitchens before deciding he was full and in desperate need for a nap.

If only he could find a nice, warm, dark place...

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Two hours. Two kriffing hours we've spent searching the whole kriffing ship for Kesi and still, there was no sight of him. Other than the few missing bantha patties, that is. But that was hours ago. Now, I found myself with Anakin and Rex in the 501st barracks once again, for what feels like the 501st time.

"Kesi, Kes. Come here boy!" I called tiredly. I just wanted to find him and be done with all thi- what was that? Did i just see movement...under that bunk?

"Oh Kessiiiii" I called playfully, watching the end of a tail respond in kind.

I crept over to the bunk, bending down and gently lifting up the side of the blanket. Underneath lied the man, or should i say thief, of the hour. Upon recognizing me, Kesi comes scurrying out from under the bunk, licking me straight in the face.

"There you are boy!" I exclaimed, happy that he was at last safe and sound.

"Well, there's the hound, but where's the holocron?" Anakin asks, lifting the blanket only to see no holocron where Kesi once was.

"Hmm..." He said, walking over and closing his eyes briefly.

The look on his face when his eyes opened once again told me all I needed to know. I groaned, the happy moment short lived.

"Oh, Kesi." I couldn't believe him. He swallowed it. He actually swallowed a very important jedi holocron. Whole! Unbelievable.

"Well, General, sir. I believe there is only one thing we can do now." Rex speaks up, shocked at the whole ordeal himself.

"Obi-wan is gonna kill me..." I groaned again.

"It's kind of funny, I'm usually the one saying that." Anakin snickers as he raises his comm to tell the aforementioned master the news.

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A few more excruciating hours passed and everyone had now gathered in the waiting room of the medbay, eager to hear the news.

Finally, Kix comes out of the medbay, arms behind his back.

"Well..." he stalls, clearly enjoying the comical aspect of the situation and leaving everyone hanging.

"Kesi has finally passed the cube! Here it is, General Kenobi, all cleaned up, and disinfected thrice!" Kix beams as he reveals the holorcron from behind his back.

Anakin, Fives and myself cheer, while Obi-wan, Rex and Cody only sigh, in relief or quiet frustration i wasn't sure. The ordeal was finally over. Obi-wan stands, grabbing the holocron reluctantly and coming over to me.

"I suggest you keep a better eye on your little friend, we don't want another incident like this happening again. I'm exhausted." Obi-wan says gently, clearly tuckered by the events of the day.

"Yes, General, sir. I'm sorry again, and it most definitely will not happen again." He nods, exiting the waiting room.

"Ahh, don't worry too hard, everyone kind of enjoyed the fun of it. After all, it's not everyday my boys worst enemy is a 50 pound ball o excitement and love." Anakin says, coming in once again to calm my nerves.

"Have a good night." he says before heading out, following everyone else.

I decided to stop by and see the little rascal once more before bed. As i walked into the medbay over to his little makeshift cot, I noticed he was already passed out. I guess today tired us all out.

"Goodnight little trouble maker, I'll see you tomorrow. And no more holocrons!" I scolded quietly, gently patting his head, before heading to my own bunk to get some much needed rest.